I guess one cant really start a post with an aside (given that there is no content to aside from), but as I sit here in DC at the Open City cafe, I am struck with the striking differences between living in the “big city,” and living in a place like Boulder. Aside from the obvious, there is one thing that strikes me as eerily the same. The energy.

Last night someone, who is pretty important to me (meaning I had a real desire to help), explained to me feelings of being overwhelmed. Of wanted to do some much more than she is doing right now and not knowing how to do it. When she asked me for The Answer, I said “Slow down.”

Her reaction? “Be serious!”

I am serious.

Before I started Current Wisdom and during the growth and sale of the company, I moved at lightspeed. I had to be better, faster, shit, just MORE than everyone else. What was important to me wasnt doing great work, it was being perceived as great. What was important to me wasnt creating something sustainable and scalable, it was being perceived as the best.

And what that quest culminated in was a distinct feeling of fradulence and an inability to focus on the things that were really important to me.

“But, Micah,” she said, “thats you. You have that kind of drive. You are ultra-competitive. You just want to win. In order to handle everything, didnt you just work all the time?”

I explained that yes I work a lot (because I love what I do), but at the end of the day, its about three things: energy, priorities and slowing down.

It took me 36 years to learn this with a few derailments along the way. I dont know if this will work for all, but it seems to be working for me.

Let me explain.

Energy:

To do great work, or to do many projects simultaniously, one must expend a great deal of energy. Sometimes, I get the best work done when its just me and thoughts focused at the computer in my home office. The world gets shut out and my focus is singular.

Other times, its like today. I sit in a noisy coffee shop, with the rising crescendo of noise becoming a white noise that continues to buzz in the back of my head as I begin the same hyper-focused behavior (this seems to be how I like to write posts).

But more importantly, I have gotten to a point where I recognize when my energy begins to wane. I dont try and “power through,” because that leads to poor output, instead I change what I am working on until I find the project that gets my energy to kick back up.

So, can I do more work in a city like DC? No, because my energy comes from a mix of internal factors and the people I am around. People in DC are much like people in Boulder, they just move faster. (I think that East Coast folks move faster because they have been taught that “its the way.” I think if you sat down a cross-section of folks from DC, NYC, Philly, Boston, etc and asked them why they walked so fast, they would not have a good answer. And asked if they ever slowed down, they would be appalled, without knowing why.)

Priorities:

The simpliest concept is often the most difficult. In most jobs, the assumption is that priorities are set by supervisors and our job is to complete the priorities laid before us.

The same with life. We have a list of “to-dos” which we assume all have a similar priority (even GTD and Covey use some variation on this theme, which is really a misnomer and forces people to split hairs).

I select 4 daily priorities: Personal, Professional, Psychological and Physical. Thats it. Sometimes, I will get adventorous and select 2 priorities from each quadrant. The goal is that if I complete those stated priorities, then I had a good day. If a priority is not completed, I move it to the next day. If it sits in a quadrant for 3 days, I dump it. Clearly, its not a priority.

Priorities come and go. They shift and change. The most important thing to remember about priorities is that they are personal. Your priorities are not always my priorities. I probably dont care about your priorities unless they affect my priorities.

Whats the punch line? Minimalize your priorities to what can be accomplished today to help you accomplish tomorrow’s priorities.

Slowing Down:

“I have to run at a 100mph, Micah, otherwise I will get nothing done.”

“The only thing you will accomplish is burning yourself out.”

There is a reason the turtle beat the hare. The turtle walked at the fastest speed it could obtain and still move forward constantly. (Read that again.)

More people need to do the same. Most people tend to try and achieve terminal velocity (the top speed an object falling obtains - resulting most often in certain death for a living creature) rather than constant velocity (a speed that can be achieved and sustained for long periods of time - not resulting in a conclusion of death).

(I took physics in high school. My only real knowledge of terminal velocity came from the Stallone movie. Please take that into account.)

There are two times that every day I physically stop. Lunch (I always take a lunch away from the office. My rule - no discussion about work); and when I get home and sit in my backyard and watch the dogs run around.

Those two moments, probably never more than 2 hours total per day, allow me to put in 12-18 hours per day (if necessary) comfortably.

Those two moments allow me to reset my brain, release any built up tension, refocus on priorities, replace my energy stores, and smile (which is probably equally important).

It took me 36 years to understand one simple equation: Life Trumps Work Always. (stop shaking your head. There are no exceptions, corollaries, interpretations, grey areas or what not in that equation. None.)

My first boss gave me some great advice that I truly didnt understand for years.

“Micah,” Larry said (because that was his name) “Do you live to work, or work to live?”

Now, when I start to get overwhelmed, when it seems that I will not be able to “do it, baby, just one more time” (yes, I quote Britney Spears, what of it?) I remind myself of that equation.

I work to live. And, generally, I have a pretty nice life.

Oh, and one more Super Secret….

Trust in yourself.

There is no one that can do everything you do better than you.

Dont believe me? Ask someone to do what you do exactly on a daily basis for a week. I bet you that you win.

Hands down.

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There is a phrase, spoken mostly by “social media experts,” that I just cant stand. Can you guess what it is?

(drum roll please)

“Its not in my brand”

Yuck.

As social media continues its explosion, and more and more people are becoming “social media experts”and talking in terms of personal brand.

(BTW, “social media expert” is another complete misnomer. Have you noticed that most “social media experts” are socially awkward or inept? What they truly excel in is using the Internet as a way to relate in a non-real way. Thats why I am so impressed by video bloggers who truly just talk into a camera and express their feelings. Its the closest thing to connecting directly with people that is not hidden by social media constraints.)

(another point. I am a bit of a hypocrite here since I am blogging, not video blogging these thoughts, but to my credit, I aint no “social media expert.”)

Back to the concept of personal brand.

There are two types of branding: corporate branding, and this new concept of personal brand.

Corporate branding is simple. Its the concept of creating a good feeling about a product or service with potential customers. So have a concept of “Give the world a Coke,” is a great branding exercise. People feel good about giving and therefore feel good about Coke, with the net effect being more soda being purchased.

Personal brand has become how you present yourself to the world. What people dont realize is this simple fact:

Personal Brand is YOU.

So, there is so separation between your “personal brand” and you. Personal brand, doesnt exist. Its a fake concept, a misnomer, a way for “social media experts” to make a living.

Take for example screen names.

There are people who use screen names that are not connected to their names, when asked why, the common response is that they can “brand themselves around the screen name.” This allows them to keep the “personal” away from the “professional.”

How is this personal branding?

If personal branding is about the person, shouldnt it be about the person?

By using my name (@micah) I create no division between Micah the person and Micah the “online” person. This means that I dont have a Personal Brand, I just have me.

There are other folks who do the same online.

Chris Brogan, Gary Vaynerchuk, Robert Scoble and the king of all marketers, Seth Godin, and others use their names as their online identities and allow their words to define who they are. Are they careful with their word choice and subjects, sure, but most folks are aware of the effect of their conversation with others and on others.

Personal Brand is like Coke. Its easy to get addicted to the concept of personal brand and the need to “protect your personal brand,” personally, I say enter a 12 step program and just be you.

Most of the time, you is pretty damn cool by yourself.

,

Thats right, I have two fathers. Well, a father and a dad.

My biological father, Robbie, and my mother, Dafna, were divorced when I was about a year and a half old. My mother soon left Colorado, intent on moving to Oregon. She stopped in California to visit some friends, and never left.

My adoptive father, Rich, moved across the street from my mother and I after moving out to California from Albion, Michigan, and the story I was always told was that after a couple of weeks, Rich and my mother started dating, moved in together soon there after, and when I was 5 (3 years after they first met), they married.

At least that was the story I was told. It turns out it was a bit more juicy than that.

My mom was dating my dad’s roommate, who apparently was still married (but separated), when she met Rich and they started dating. I told you it was juicy…

So, there it is. Two dads, two very different people.

My biological father battled drug addiction for a long time which really shaped his interaction (or lack thereof) with me. When I was eight years old, Robbie decided that it was time to stop taking to me, and that lasted until I was 18 years old. in the 18 years since then, we have connected (really connected) maybe a dozen times or so.

Rich, on the other hand, was someone I saw daily. We battled as fathers and sons do, and there were many things he did (he was a yeller), that I refuse to do. There are also many things he does, that I tried to emulate. He is one of the most responsible, trustworthy, dependable people I know.

So the question becomes: nature or nurture?

Last night, my friend Pete over at Mashable, put up a post asking people to link to tweets or posts they had written about Fathers Day. So, last night, right before bed, I tweeted:

I have 2 fathers. One who reminds me of how good I can be; and one that reminds of what I could have been. To both Happy Fathers Day.

I thought a lot about that as I went to sleep. I have tried to have a relationship with my biological father, but every time we interact (he is my vet for example), I am disappointed and scared that the man I see before me is what I could become if I dont watch out. Dont get me wrong, he is not a bad guy, but he is many things I wish never to be. He is selfish, he is self-centered, he is unreliable, he is pig headed and he has difficulty connecting with people.

At the same time, he is many things I hope to be: brilliant, caring, an expert at what he does, and respected.

When I think of Rich, he has so many characteristics I wish I could emulate. He is dependable, intelligent, selfless, unassuming, practical and pragmatic.

So, whats the answer? Nature or Nurture?

For me, I have decided that my nature is something I am inherently. I have all the bad habits and some of the positive characteristics of Robbie. Thats who I am, but its not who I am required to become. With Rich, I see what he has taught me, both directly and indirectly, and realize those things I could become.

At the end of the day the truth lies somewhere in between.

I have 2 fathers. One who reminds me of how good I can be; and one that reminds of what I could have been.

And thats what makes me uniquely me.

Happy Fathers Day.