Is this really just another BlogHer 08 wrap up post?

Um…kinda.

I am not going to talk about the sessions (well, maybe one), or the parties (well, maybe one), but mostly about the one thing that always makes conferences successful or failures for me.

The people.

But, first let me go through the things that I really found interesting.

The first night of BlogHer, the keynote was a series of blog posts written by the authors live in front of 1,000 people.

Read that again.

Read live.

We bloggers, blog because we want to talk about deeply personal things, or our personal views on technology, business, health, sports or other categories, with the protection of the mythical "fourth wall" that allows us ot not have to discuss one-to-one the words we write.

For me, when somone tells me that they have read something I have written and it meant something to them (or made them laugh), it get very embarrassed. After all, its just me. Just some dude that lives in Boulder, CO. Thats it. Just some dude.

To see twenty men and women read their words, be they emotional or outraged or funny or thought provoking simply just blew me away. Completely.

I immediately had enormous respect for those 20 individuals, which is a memory that will stay with me, inspire me and drive me moving forward.

That night, hanging out with so many wonderful people (men and women), such as Rick Calvert, StephAgresta, Tara Hunt, Aaron Vest (YES! Mr. Queen of Spain!), Laura Fitton, Andrew Hyde and others at Lefty O’Douls talking about issues (some specifically women’s) and ending up at Tara’s house with six of us (2 women, 4 men) singing 80’s power ballads and forming the BlogHim Boiz Choir, is a memory that I will enjoy revisiting time and time again.

The next day, I attended a session that Erin “Queen of Spain” Kotecki Vest help facilitate and Lisa Stone moderated, that brought members of the Obama and McCain campaigns together to discuss each candidate’s view on women’s issues. The highlight of the session was running into Leslie Bradshaw, who I got to know in DC, and is quickly becoming my favorite person in DC (sorry Nick, Frank and others). She was on the tail end of a 3 events in 4 days trip with her good friend Jen Nedeau, who I also had the pleasure to meet. Seeing Erin so happy at the session going well, and seeing Leslie so happy to be in attendance just made it for me. Throw in Leslie’s excitement at meeting Erin, and my ability to make that happen, was just the cherry.

That night, I broke away from the BlogHer bunch, and went to Whitewalls, which is run by my friends Justin and Andreas. I was met there by Adam Glickfield (Shana Glickfield’s brother), who I have gotten to know, and after finding out he was an artist, introduced him to Justin and Andreas. (BTW, if you are looking for a good graphic artist in SF, here is his site. Really smart and great sensibilities. Of course, if you are looking for someone in DC, Jess3 and nclud are the best. Dammit, did I miss anyone? If I did, whatever.)

Heading back over to the BlogHer party at Macy’s, I got a text from Erin to meet her in the lobby of the hotel. Prior to leaving the BlogHer party, I ran into more people I knew from Twitter, such as Jenn Satterwhite. I even picked up a book and got it signed by a few friends.

When I got to the lobby bar, besides my new partner in crime, Aaron (yes, the infamous Mr. Queen of Spain) Pete Cashmore was there. I was disappointed he had yet to get a HamSwords tattoo, but I still have hope!

After the 8 billion photos of “Pete plus a lovely lady,” a group of us: Pete, Erin and Aaron, Nicole, Chris, Lisa, Rita, Maria, and Laura headed out looking for food. We ended up at Marrakesh, a Moroccan restaurant, where the drinks and food flowed freely, and dancing ensued.

After we were all partied out, we headed back to the hotel, and I fell asleep before my head hit the pillow. (Another realization: The best part of being sober is the mornings!)

Got up the next morning, and headed to the airport.

So what did I learn?

I learned that I would be going to BlogHer 09.

• There are just too many of my (new and old) friends at the conference to skip it.
• There are people that are inspiring with their energy and drive, like Patricia Handschiegel and Melanie Notkin.
• There are people that I can learn from and provide information to (my couple of words in a session - GASP! yes a man spoke….)
• And dammit, its fun.

Plus, where else will the BlogHim Boiz Choir play?

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I am often chided for always being right. I am unsure of why people think that being right all the time is a bad thing, but hey, who am I to tell them something different.

When I am wrong, tho, I will often pretend that I forgot the question or situation, which ensure that my being right all the time streak continues.

I am a man right? We are always right.

Except when we are wrong.

I assumed that BlogHer would be a bunch of women that were mixed in this manner:

- 10% real “business” women, who understood the importance of the internet in furthering their businesses.

- 60% women who blogged for fun and went to a few conferences each year. These women all kinda know each other from various conferences and would rather clique-y.

- 29% women who came because they were friends with someone from the previous two groups.

- 1% men. Most are either husbands/boyfriends or folks (like me) that work for a company that would like to learn how to present our product to this group of women.

In some ways, I am right about that.

But, what I didnt expect is: Thats not a bad thing.

Women are different then men. I am right about.

But, what has been the most interesting thing for me, is that women in large groups are exactly the same as men.

They share. They learn. They meet. They support.

Thats right, ladies. That the dirty secret of what we men do when we are in large groups.

You know what we also do? We consider women as accessories, while we men “do business.”

Which is exactly how I feel today.

But not in a bad way. I have a lot to learn from the women around me. I am right about this.

BlogHer allows women the proper comfort zone in which to speak freely and openly about issues that have no gender lines (entrepreneurship, depression, bipolar, etc.) or things that are specific to women.

I feel like a 6 year old again when I would listen to my mom with her friends talk about their issues of the day. Where I found myself learning new stuff every day (did you know that there are specific times when wearing white pants is bad? Me neither.)

So, what am I wrong about?

BlogHer is not a tech conference. BlogHer is not some exclusive place for women where men would be treated as afterthoughts, as intruders or unwelcome.

We may not be celebrated for our attendence but we are allowed to learn.

Which is fantastic. I am right about that.

I have been reading books and watching movies that seem to center on the concept of anarchy or individual rule making. Books like Wanted (not the movie) and Diceman are great examples of this. Living in a world without consequence.

Negotiations are sometime like that. People create their own rules and think that the discussion should conform to their own beliefs.

Last night I tweeted “For a relationship to be good, happiness much be created and given equally.” (or something like that). It was in reference to a session at Techstars that focused on the “art of the deal.” Often, people consider themselves great negioators because they lie, manipluate and win. They consider the “rules” of the “deal,” are when someone wins and someone loses.

In truth, this is as far from the truth as possible. For any relationship, business or otherwise, its about compromise. Its about depth. Its about trust. Winning doesnt allow for any of those three things.

After that conversation, a conversation began to brew about what a world where individuals could make their own rules would look like (We are an introspective bunch in Boulder).

We all spoke about different ideas, so I am listing a few here. In true Micah style, most of these (ok…all) are mine…feel free to add to them in the comments.

1. Once per month, you could kill without consequence. Of course, you would have to apply to make sure there wasnt a previous claim on the person, but just once per month, you could totally get away with it.
2. Once per month, you could read the mind of one person for one day. They wouldnt know that you are reading their mind, and as soon as the 24 hours passed, you could no longer read their minds. They couldnt read your mind at the same time.
3. Once per month, all the dirty hippies in Boulder would take a shower. Maybe twice a month in the summer.
4. Once per month, you could steal one thing without consequence. Just walk right into a store and take it. Or from someone you know. Of course, they could elect to steal it back, but not in the same month.
5. Once per month, you could force one person to not be able to talk for a full 24 hours.
6. Once per month, you could swap the balance on an ATM receipt you found with your own.
7. Once per month, you could straight punch someone in the face.
8. Once per month, you could achieve one thing that you were unable to achieve the month before.
9. Once per month, you could realize your dream of beating Micah at anything.
10. Once per month, you could have one skill that you would be the best at, but it would only last for the month.

Im sure there are more. What do you think?