As I sit in my parents house watching them getting ready for Thanksgiving (Douchebags dont do turkey prep), its pretty easy for me to write the standard Thanksgiving post.

Of course, I tend to not be standard, twisting and adjusting themes to suit my perverted little mind, but for some reason, being thankful is something that is pretty pure by itself.

I do hate that for some reason we need to set aside specific days to do things that we should do daily. Things like tell the people we love that we love them (Valentines Day); Tell our Mothers that we respect them (Mothers Day); tell our bosses that they suck (Boss’ Day); and of course, Thanksgiving (Having people tell me why they are thankful for me).

In case you are running out of superlatives to describe the effect I have had on your life, let me list a few people that are especially thankful for knowing me:

1) Purgers: Given that puking is a common occurrence when dealing with me, it reduces the wear on the finger and the stigma to a life threatening disease (folks, eating disorders are nothing to joke about!);

2) Dickheads: Given I am dick, its is easy to blame me for most anything. Including world hunger (although I have always thought doing that was really just a fat joke);

3) Ladies: What lady is not thankful for knowing a douchebag like me?

While many people may not believe it, this past year has been one where I have met people that have truly made a huge difference in my life. A year of immense personal discovery, it will go down as probably the most important year of my life. As always, whenever one creates a list they miss people, so if I piss you off by leaving you off, then good.

Todd Vernon, Brad Feld, Seth Levine, David Cohen - for providing mentorship and friendship. Its always great to learn from others, especially while laughing.

Andrew Hyde - for showing me the importance of community and introducing yourself to others.

Erin Kotecki Vest - for being unwaveringly right (in a very leftish way). For forcing me to be a good person, and allowing me to kill her husband.

Jeremy Tanner - for helping me laugh at myself while learning the importance of keeping friendships.

Aaron Brazell - for teaching me the importance of convictions (not being convicted. I already know about that)

Gary and AJ Vaynerchuk - for reminding me of the importance of being me.

Chris Brogan and Laura Fitton - for teaching me the appropriateness of personal branding, even if I dont believe in personal branding.

Meg Fowler - for teaching me the importance of love (loving people, loving life, loving yourself).

Shana Glickfield - for teaching me the ways of the happy hour and acceptance of self

Tara Anderson - for showing me how to build community by loving what you represent

Natalia Baldwin - for reminding me that little sisters can often provide big advice

Rana Sobany - for challenging me with her energy, expertise and enthusiasm

Mike Bucks - for showing me how to enjoy good design and discover good designers

Danny Newman - for reminding me about the excitement of invention

Heather Capri - for teaching me the importance of being true and direct

Dave Taylor - for reminding me of the excitement that online marketing can bring.

…and all the other people that affect my life daily.

Thank you.

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I am an old man.

And because I am an old man, occasionally people younger than me (usually when drunk), ask me for advice.

This advice asking always amazes me given that I have made more mistakes than good choices in my life, and that while I am currently not in jail (another fact that always surprises me), I am also not the most successful person ever.

In fact, I could potentially put myself in the category of mediocre at best if categorization was called for, although I would certainly get extra points for wearing a pink hat.

Now it might be the constant stream of Bright Eyes and other emo rockers that is streaming out of the computer speakers that is causing me to Jew-up this post or it could be that my left ear is itchy as shit and driving me nuts.

But, I digress.

Seeking happiness.

One’s life can be distilled down into two major components: Life and Work. Now Life includes things like: family, sports, writing, art, etc. Basically, anything that is not Work. Work, on the other hand, includes, well, your job.

And for those seeking happiness, here is the secret.

The source of your happiness can only be one. Work or Life, you choose.

Immediately, the naysayers (amazingly there are a few) will say that happiness is derived in part by created a balance between the two.

You can only balance time, you cannot balance the source of your happiness.

Here are two examples:

My friend Lawrence. Lawrence worked for the same company for six years (he has since moved on), his job was from 7am - 4:30pm. He drove an hour to and from work. Every day, he dealt with the same group of people, doing the same thing.

I never understood why he did that job, until one day we were sitting on a bluff over the ocean and I asked him. Lawrence replied “Everyday at 4:30pm, I get to go to the things I want to do. The job gives me the ability to do that. I work out. I play lacrosse. I travel. I buy what I need. It makes my life happy.”

My other example. Me. when I first was working out of college, the president of company I worked for pulled me aside and said “Micah, people will always assume you dont do a lot of work, because your work style creates the perception that you dont work. You are never at your desk. You are always talking to people. Remember that perception trumps reality.” But, I was happy. The people that saw my production, knew I was putting in 60-80 hours a week. Even now, I leave the office, feed the animals, and turn on a computer.

In Lawrence’s example, he does enough work to have the life he wants; and in my example, I do enough life to have the work I want.

In each case, we have learned that the source of our happiness came from a different location.

Interestingly, I would imagine that most people feel that Lawrence made the right decision, and I am an idiot. I would also imagine that without the previous explanation that most people feel I am an idiot.

The bottom line: You cant have it all. Pick a place, Life or Work that you want to be the source of your happiness and build around that. You might find the results interesting.

Where is the source of your happiness? Life or Work?

$6.19

I know this because of the enormous research I did over the course of the previous 12 months based on multiple factors including number of followers, percent followed, age of account and 28 other measures.

$6.19

Of course, if you believe that, I have a bridge in Brooklyn you can buy.

For some reason, a intrinsic value has been placed on the number of friends or followers we have accumulated in social networks such as Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn and others.

A week ago or so, I mischievously tweeted:

“base requirements for a SM expert: LI (>500); Twitter (>2000); FB (>1000); and at least 100 pics of you on flickr. (not self or mom taken)” - @micah

For many people, as their stature online grows they assume that their offline value also increases.

It seems that numbers equate to worth.  RSS subscribers, pageviews, twitter followers, Facebook friends all equate to true value.

As an individual’s number of followers/friends grows, they become more aware of how people view them and begin to develop a “personal brand.” (”There are 10,000 people that read my tweets, I cant tweet a joke like that!”)

If a person has an intrinsic value online (meaning that they can influence behavior or thought online), should they also be aware of how they are valued and adhere to that?

Take for example Guy Kawasaki. Most of hs communication online (at least recently) is about Alltop (which is an information aggregator that includes this blog in the startups section), Truemors posts and other efforts he is involved in. How would people react if Guy started talking about just hockey? Would his following leave? Would he no longer have value online?

Or Robert Scoble. Robert is a great source for information about what he is doing and whats going on in the technology space. If he stopped talking about technology and started talking about nature, would his value subside?

Both do a great job of interacting with their respective communities, is that their real value?

Tim Ferriss and Lance Armstrong are both involved with Twitter and have a high number of followers, but neither follow anyone. Do they have no/limited value because of the lack of interaction?

As long as quantity drives online value, quality will always be seen as secondary, driving the voices of truly interesting people into the noise of the “valuable.”

Social Media Value should not be tied to number of followers or friends (or even previous recongnition or fame).

The value of any participant in any social system is just that: participation.