This past week I attended a retreat, who’s rules were simple: 1) No Snitching; 2) No Selling; and 3) No Snobbery. It was a wonderful time, where I got to connect more deeply with old friends and create new connections with new friends. Among the many highlights was an 8 hour stint of the game Werewolf.

Dont know what Werewolf is? Its a card game played by a large group of folks, where the outcome is predicated on the ability of the Villagers to determine who the Werewolves are prior to the Werewolves killing all the Villagers.

It has two phases: Day and Night. During the Night, Werewolves kill one person, and during the Day the Villagers kill one person. Since the knowledge of who is a Werewolf grows over time, there are a significant number of Villagers that get “lynched” that are completely innocent.

Hence the interesting component of the game: The Moral Dilemma.

On April 1, 2006, I got sober. As I made the decision to make a significant change in my life, I decided that there would be two “rules” that I would live by. These rules would be immutable. That in their inflexibility, I would find the freedom to move forward and not be shackled by choice. You see, whenever I was presented by two options: the fun and the right, I always chose the fun. After all, if one couldnt enjoy life, why should one live it?

As I mulled over the options, I kept coming back to my father, Rich. Rich has always done the right thing without question. He is the most responsible person I know, and never seems to put himself in a situation where the proper outcome was unknown or unreachable. He is also the most honest person I know. Flat out.

Those two qualities make him one of the most respected people in my life, and after destroying the respect others–and myself–had for me, I decided that I would:

1) Never lie. No matter what. When asked a question, I would always answer it truthfully. Always.

2) Always do the right thing. Even if the right thing was no fun or was hurtful to me.

Thats it. Seems simple enough. And for the past four years, it has been easy enough to follow those rules.

With extremely positive results: I sold my company, worked for a great startup in Boulder, got involved with the tech scene in Boulder (including Techstars), and am now running Graphic.ly. Ive met hundreds of people across the country that I now call friends (Im IM’ing with a few while I write this). My life is pretty darn solid.

Back to the game of Werewolf.

Part of the game is the ability of players to lie, misdirect and manipulate. Three things that I am actually quite good at. But, before we started the game, I decided that I would hold true to my rules. See if I could still be successful at a game that is predicated on the opposite.

For the first couple of hours, it was easy. The game flowed, and I enjoyed the games. Sometimes I would die early, sometimes I would last awhile. I think I was on the winning team a couple of times.

Then, in a game, where it seemed that it was extremely important that everyone believed me (remember its based on the fact that no one really trusts anyone for longer than a single game), I said, “I dont lie. When I got sober 4 years ago, I decided to never lie again. To answer any question asked of me. I dont lie.”

Which, as one might imagine, was met with absolute skepticism.

Over the next few games, people started asking me questions: “Are you a werewolf? No, Im not.” And, over time, people began to truly believe me. And, depending on my role, I would either die early, or allowed to stick around.

Most interestingly, the “I dont lie,” tactic began to be used by more people. “On my honor,” people would say, “I am not a werewolf.” And, more often than not, people would be telling the truth.

Finally, as it got closer to breakfast time (we had been playing for 7 hours by then), a situation presented itself where my rules came into question. A friend I have known for some time — and known to be trustworthy, exclaimed to not be a werewolf “on his honor.” The opposition, someone I met at the retreat, professed her innocence as well.

Here was the problem. I knew my friend was lying, and my new friend wasnt.

My rule #2 was called into question. I knew that the right thing to do was to take my friend at his word, and hope that he wasnt willing to jeopardize the trust I had in him over a game.

Trusting in friends is always the right thing to do, even if it ends up hurting me in the end.

So, as I voted to have my new friend “lynched,” knowing that I was probably losing the game, I asked myself if I was doing the right thing. Was I making a mistake? Should I have made the decision I knew would end up in victory, but would also send the message to my friend that lying to me was ok?

No. I did the right thing. Without question.

Now who wants to play Werewolf?

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