I never thought I would enjoy writing. I hate business writing and I hate having to write on a schedule.

But over the past year or so, that has changed. Writing has become the one way for me to put my thoughts in order. Its why I undertook this 750 words project. Its why I make time to blog.

Now when I need to think through something, I write. Not about anything in particular. I literally start with a blank page and start putting down words. The words often will quickly fall one after the other, and just as often, I have no idea where they are going.

So I follow them. I let them pull the thoughts directly out of my head, and then, at some point, I stop, and usually, press publish.

When Im done, I feel so much better. The rock in my belly made up of indecision and uncertainty finally makes sense, and I can breathe cleanly. Decisions can be made and directions become clear.

There is another type of writing I do. I started doing it about two years ago or so. Its a private writing. Usually its when there are things I want to say to someone (sometimes its someone that I have a relationship with, but it can be employees, investors, friends, whomever) but feel that saying what I am writing is just too selfish. They are things I want to say, but perhaps dont need to be said.

I tend to do it in email format. Adding the person’s email address and subject line somehow makes it “real.” After all, its not that hard to just press send, if I really wanted to. (Of course, its also relatively easy to accidentally press send, like I did a few weeks ago. It was like I was in a bad teenage comedy where as I realized when I had done, a silent “nooooooooooo!” escaped my lips, and I frantically tried to undo the send in gmail. Of course, Mailplane decided to fail at that exact moment as well–goodbye Mailplane. Then, I sat there thinking, “should I send an email suggesting that reading the email I just sent might be a bad idea? Or should I just ignore it and let it go?” Given the previous email was incomplete, I decided to write another and send it. Of course, now there were two emails that really shouldnt have seen the light of day, but whatever… *sigh*)

Its amazing how after I write an email that I never intend to send how good I feel. How all the thoughts and feelings that I couldnt express are finally out of my head and stomach, and I can finally move forward.

In a way, this 750 word project sits in the middle of the public and private writing I do. I can explore ideas and thoughts publicly, get feedback, and help me formulate plans of action, 0r, frankly, confirmation of what I am doing seems to resonate.

I really never expected writing to become such a part of my life. I have no training; Ive never had a journal. I could careless about creative writing growing up. I dont have a solid vocabulary and I cant turn a phrase particularly well. But, that blank screen, with a blinking cursor has become a welcome addition to my life.

Rarely, do I re-read what I have written. It starts and it finishes. Its like a conversation. I try to make sense, although I know that often I dont. As I slowly realized that I am not writing for anyone but myself, my enjoyment of writing has increased. I spend time on this blog writing about professional concepts and personal issues with equal aplomb as both are equally interesting…to me.

Im a talker. Anyone that has spend any time with me knows that I prefer to speak. A lot. Writing has always been a chore. Why write something that I could just say? I cant watch the reaction of the other person as I write. I cant see if the message or concept is being heard. Writing is so solitary. Now, strangely, I find that I would rather write things down than just talk about them. Its not that I can get my thoughts in a row, (I think) its that the typing forces me to think slower, and really embrace the ideas, thoughts and feelings. I spend more time thinking before I write than I do when I speak.

And for those of you that get IMs and tweets asking if you have read a particular post, know its because I believe you will actually enjoy it and I want to share it with you.

Since thats the greatest thing about writing. Sharing.

word count: 820

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