Micah April 30th

Death to Andrew Part II

Every night, before bed, I take Seroquel, which does the wondrous task of shutting my brain defect (yes, I named my brain defect Andrew) up.

You see, normally, Andrew would not shut up. All night it was “Hey! Micah! Let me tell you somethin’!” or “Hey! Micah! Guess What? Seriously, Guess?”

So, Seroquel was step one on killing Andrew.

On Monday, my doctor prescribed step two: Trileptal (also known as Oxcarbazepine). Interestingly, its an antiepileptic drug. Apparently, my brain cells are in a constantly active state or in a completely depressed state. The chemicals that regulate brain function (not breathing – those functions are always on; but the higher functions surrounding thought and emotion) dont do a good job. Rather they are in constant disarray.

This medication is supposed to, over time, settle my brain chemistry to operate in a more regulated fashion.

How is that manifested? Well, the hypomania (where I am bouncing off the walls) and the depressed state (paranoia, irratability and lethargy) will disappate. I will be in a more normal state consistently.

This drug takes about three weeks to kick in. And the doctor explained that at best, there is a 60% chance that a drug treatment will work.

So, Andrew, you have a 60% chance of being dead in three weeks. Live it up while you can, sucker.

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  • Xnonymous
    I can't stop myself from commenting on your blog as someone who is also bp and on the same shit. As I'm also member of the local startup community *cough*, though not yet successful enough to be confident that people will still be alright with hiring me post-bipolar disclosure, I'll post this hush-hush style.

    I just want to say that I've had great success with Trileptal, and anti-convulsants in general. I'm on three of them, actually: Trileptal, Lamictal and Topamax currently. The Topamax especially has helped me function enough so that no one actually knows there's anything going except for a lot of awesome! Hopefully one day bipolar disorder won't feel like such a big fucking deal to tell people about.

    I wish you the best! Thanks for coming out for the crazy yet still successful team; someday I will, too!
  • Is it wrong all I can think of is Hyde...???? I can't help it.

    Hang in there....and DIE ANDREW DIE
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