Las Vegas Baby
For those that dont know, here is a very important fact about me.
For about 4 years, I was addicted to drugs. Mostly cocaine, but there wasnt anything I was unwilling to abuse. I did stay away from heroin and LSD, primarily because those two drugs scared me.
On April 1, 2006, I stopped being the fool. That was the day I stopped doing drugs. A few months later, I stopped drinking.
So, lets start with that.
Today, 905 days later, I am sitting in the MGM Signature hotel in Las Vegas. I have been here for about two days, and I have gone to a couple clubs; I have stayed out way too late; and I have hung out with my friends while they have gotten wasted.
And, its killing me.
All my memories (at least those I still have) of Las Vegas are fantastic. They are memories that build stories; memories that many people dont believe; and memories that are indicative of a life lead that was both amazing and self-destructive.
Whats is killing me, is how much I wish I could join in the partying. I wish I didnt have that gene or defect or whatever in my head that doesnt allow me to be moderate. That forces me to be That Guy.
Its 3am. I am back in my hotel early (by Vegas time), and I am writing this blog post. I know that the comments both personal and on this post (of course, when you talk about comments, they tend to never materialize) are going to be positive and congratulatory. Thats not my aim.
I simply want to let people know, that if I appear to be slightly uptight, I am. If I appear pining for something I used to have. I am.
Normalcy includes the ability to come to Las Vegas and act a bit the fool.
905 days ago, I realized that I am not normal.
And I would be a fool if I didnt say, that sometimes, that sucks.
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Hang in there, Micah. It's a fine line between those that have “the gene” and those that don't. We all struggle to some degree.
I understand. Yes, you are doing awesome. But I agree, it does suck not to be able to join in. Makes you feel like some sort of mutant. Years ago, I had some trouble with alcohol. I was young, and stupid. I don't know that I had a real problem. These days, I don't drink much. My body seems to be able to keep me from overindulging, because I get so sick when I drink too much, it just isn't worth it. I will be hungover from midnight until the next evening. Just. not. worth it. But it really stinks to watch my friends drink and know that I can't, not like that.
Vegas is a lonely town, and worse when you can't hang with your friends. I avoid it. I hope that BWE has been worth the trip, though.
Thanks for sharing, and hang in there.
Fuck that, Sober is the only way to party and you know I have the stories to prove it. Kidding of course but I think only the sober truly understand the spectacle that is Vegas at 3am
Spectale is a good word. My point was sometimes you like to watch the
spectacle and sometimes you like to be part of the spectacle. Both can
be loads of fun.
Sorry man that sucks… I tend to go over the top sometimes as well, and have been working to be better at that. Anyways I get why it sucks to be 'missing out' when others are partying.
I don't drink. Not that I can't or that I have had issues with drinking, I just choose not to. Boy, do I know what you mean by “that guy”. I feel like a leper sometimes when others are guzzling drink after drink and I sit with my diet coke. Everyone thinks you are “odd”, but I just remind myself that I unlike them will actually remember this night and I will wake up with a clear and non-throbbing head.
Hang in there dude. You are an amazing person. Look at everything you have accomplished in 905 days!
Micah – hang in there. One day at a time. This one's almost done; the next is just around the corner.
Just got back to my room after seeing you down at the club. I bet it is tough seeing your friends have a good time and drinking. But you're done with that, and a new chapter of your life is in progress. Congrats on your success and nice to meet you this weekend. And thanks for moderating my panel at BWE! Great work.
Micah, wow, when I've hung out with you, you've always seemed so much fun that I thought you had a drink or two. You're blessed to be sociable without drugs or alcohol.
Hang in there man, and congrats on what you've accomplished so far.
Thanks jim. It was one of those nights (the one before) where I just
wanted to party with my friends, instead of watching my friends party.
I got over it (clearly) and had a blast.
I hope I did you right on the panel…
wait – you have always thought I was drunk we have hung out? Not sure
if thats a positive thing…LOL
Micah, it was great to finally meet you in Vegas. Wish we could have had more time to connect. I really appreciated your transparency and frankness in this post. Something that many people find abstract and distant, you made real. I too can be a bit out of place when the strongest drinks I'll take in at a party are Diet Coke, but the origins are a tad different. Next time, we can sit in the corner and commiserate.
As someone I look up to in terms of your professionalism and grace
(even when helping me type in a tweet about my *ahem* privates into
Drew's computer) I will sit and drink diet cokes any day with you.
Thank you.
Louis, we should talk some time about what Micah and I talked about at the Tweetup Sunday night. I think there's a great episode of WineLibrary.tv for the three of us.
Micah: security wouldn't let me on to the showroom floor and I needed to grab Jason Falls. You were clearly walking somewhere else but went out of your way to snatch him for me…I just wanted to say “Thank You” for that!
Clearly this is one of my first times here (I've lurked around before)…but it was good to meet the man behind the blog! However briefly…
It was great to meet you as well. Plus any friend of Jason's has to be
a cool dude.
Micah .. first up congrats for a honest post. Usually people refrain from it. Plus there are always other ways to have fun ..even without getting into drugs n all . Good luck .. hang on there dude
Micah .. first up congrats for a honest post. Usually people refrain from it. Plus there are always other ways to have fun ..even without getting into drugs n all . Good luck .. hang on there dude
Although its been a while, just want to say my thumbs up for not letting yourself be hooked again from that dreaded addiction. We have only one life and we should love it: free from toxicity.
Glad you stopped the drinking habit. This is good for you.