Over a year ago, I wrote a post titled Business Development in a Web 2.0 World. I wrote about the importance of relationships in today’s business dealings. I wrote:

To get, one must give, and trust that the gift is compelling enough to have the other give in return.

(I’ve always wanted to quote myself. Talk about an ego boost!)

Now, its a year later. The work we have done at Lijit has really begun to pay off. Since I started in the end of 2007, we have seen our pageviews grow 30x (11mm per month to 325mm per month) and our user base grow 11x (1,000 – 11,000). Clearly, our approach to business development has worked.

But, this past weekend at Gnomedex, I began to rethink my philosophy.

If you approach relationships as “give with the hope of getting something in return,” by definition, you are creating unidirectional value relationships.

A good illustration of this is the classic/stereotypical dating situation: Man takes woman out to a meal and a movie. He expects she will return a little loving. Who has the power in the relationship? Clearly, not the man.

Look at traditional sales relationships. Same story.

The majority of business dealings are created with the intent of forming a unidirectional value relationship. To be clear, while there is always some value passed back and forth, this is more an exploration of mutually equal value and sharing of power.

Which brings us to the concept of a bidirectional value relationship. Value is mutual. Power is shared.

In my personal life, I tend to be more like my original concept: “To get, one must give, and trust that the gift is compelling enough to have the other give in return.”

Which makes me more interested in women that have such needs that within the relationship, I can provide more than I get in return. This creates an imbalance in mutual value and power, often leaving me in a less than ideal situation. While I was assuming that I was keeping control, and therefore the balance of power in a relationship, the truth was that I was giving away both.

In business relationships, if you miscalculate and the value you provide is not compelling enough, or the other party is uninterested in providing equal value in return, the relationship ends up being unequal and creates the reality of a difficult ending.

Think of it this way. There are two parties, and between the two parties there is a bucket sitting on a level. Neither party can take the bucket, but each party can fill the bucket. If one party fills the bucket, but the other doesnt, the bucket tips. If one party takes too much out of the bucket, the bucket tips. There has to be equality.

Does this mean that relationships are not the focus of business development 2.0? Actually quite the opposite. Relationships are the centerpiece, but successful relationships are bidirectionally valuable.

How does Freemium work in all of this?

The general idea is that if a user likes a product, they will be willing to pay more to use it. Or, for some cases, free accounts can be used for lead generation. But, if the relationship with the user is unidirectional (you give away too much; the paid services are not compelling; you attract the wrong kind of user), then the model fails.

When building a strong, lasting relationship, its important to determine what equal value entails (For example: you put Lijit search on your blog and allow us to share in the revenue generated, and in return we will monetize an under-monetized section of your blog and give your readers a superior search service) and ensure it is understood by both parties.

Relationships should be evaluated on the ability of both parties to provide value. A true relationship, business or otherwise, is predicated on the fact that power, and therefore control, is shared by both parties. When that is out of sync, the relationship has no chance of becoming long-term. In fact, there is no relationship at all.

There is simply an agreement between two parties, that usually occurs after a series of negotiations focused obtaining the highest potential value for each individual party.

Building bidirectional value relationships takes time and trust. It takes a willingness to be vulnerable and a clarity of requirements. Such relationships take learning whats important to each party, and being brutal if those requirements are not met.

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