I joke around. A lot.

One of my all time favorite scenes is the scene in Goodfellas where Tommy DeVito (played by Joe Pesci) starts to mess with Henry Hill (played by Ray Liotta) while at dinner.

You mean, let me understand this cause, ya know maybe it’s me, I’m a little fucked up maybe, but I’m funny how, I mean funny like I’m a clown, I amuse you? I make you laugh, I’m here to fuckin’ amuse you? What do you mean funny, funny how? How am I funny?

So, when I want to be serious, It sometimes takes people a little bit to make that mental shift in their thinking that I am not trying to be funny, but trying to be serious.

I dont mind. Really, I dont.

But there are times, when I realize that sometimes the only thing that is important is just what matters. What matters to me. Seriously.

Today was a day like that. Fantastic day. Work went better than expected, still full of pressure, but diamonds arent created by petting carbon now are they?

And, at 4pm, I headed over to the Vet’s office with Billie in tow for the first of three appointments. The third appointment would be at VRCC (Veterinary Referral Clinic of Colorado) where she will have her other hip replaced.

Thats right, her second hip. She is two years old.

Many people find it funny that I have so many animals at home. Sometimes, I think its pretty funny as well. But, Billie is the first dog I have ever had.

And thats not what makes her special.

What makes her special is when I was in the process of getting healthy and sober, taking care of her, having to focus on her hip replacement and post op procedures really helped me focus and understand what was important in my life. And those morals, rules, whatever they are called have continued to stick with me. They are simple:

1) Be honest always.

2) Do right every time.

3) Do good in everything.


And more than any one living thing, that little dog taught me that.

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Snoopy used to always start his stories with the line “One dark and stormy night…” and so in homage:

One dark and stormy night, a few days before Christmas, all was quiet in the house except for the tap of my keyboard. Instant messages, tweets, and web surfing was going on, whilst in the other room, my two dogs, Billie and Taylor, played together given they were staying home from school.

At first, there was a small squeak and then a large tear. I heard a grumble, and what only could be considered a cheer. I quickly ran to the other room to see what had transpired, and with no dogs in sight, I came across:

The Pink Flamingo had not a chance. I looked for Billie and Taylor, both say next to the door, with an innocent look in their eyes. I could almost swear Billie pointed to one of the cats as she walked away.

I returned to my desk and my typing, slowing becoming engrossed in blog posts. Another scream arose from the bedroom. Followed by the quickly scampering feet (8 in all) of Billie and Taylor exiting the room at a high rate of speed.

A quick peruse of the room uncovered victim #2: Christmas Moose

Poor Christmas Moose, we barely knew you.

Now a bit frightened, I returned to my office. Seeing that the pooches were on a Christmas Wave of Destruction, I decided to quietly go back to work. I continue to pretend that nothing was going on, while squeaks and crunching and other non-Christmas sounds emanated from the front room. Knowing that Billie and Talyor were now in the HamSwords practice spaceit was time to see what they were doing.

When their latest victim, Christmas Monkey, lay in my path, I fell to my knees and wept. Thats right, Micah Gabriel Baldwin, wept.

But not because Pink Flamingo, Christmas Moose and Christmas Monkey were dead, but because they cost me almost $75, and lasted less than 3 hours. Stupid dogs!

The Culprits:

Taylor

Billie

UPDATE: When I took the girls outside to use the restroom, I noticed that there was a full moon…perhaps I have were-pooches?

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So, I decided I would try out this new fangled website that I am sure no one has heard of, YouTube. Kinda a funny name, but I bet they go places. Basically, I wanted to show the world how awesome my two idiot dogs are. So I filmed them doing what they do best…almost nothing…

Seriously, Billie and Taylor have become my new addiction. After years of substance abuse, food abuse, and other self destructive behavior, I finally decided to make a change. Its been 14 and half months of sobriety, and in many ways watching those two dogs just live life has really taught me a thing or two.

So, here is the YouTube video of Billie and Taylor spending their afternoon doing just about what they do every afternoon…

[youtube UQM-VBTHPqs Billie and Taylor Playing]

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