So, in the last week, I had to travel to San Jose to speak at Search Engine Strategies, which is certainly an honor. I even worked out that first Monday, but then everything just fell apart. I was pretty sick, and surrounded by good restaurants, and so I slipped.

5.6 pounds is quite a bit, but it wasnt all gained in the last week. I started slipping the week before. It’s interesting because I talk about how success or failure is motivating, while mediocrity brings complacency. But I had a great success a couple weeks back, and I proceeded to sabotage myself. Why is that?

Is it that I dont want to be successful? I dont think so. I actually think its because I think too highly of myself. I have a bit of success and I think “Ive got this figured out, I dont need to stick to my routine.” And every time, I crash and burn.

Often, I speak about how for me failure is a process. Well, I need to realize so is success. There is no destination, there is no end. Everything is the process.

In lacrosse, I always teach my goalies to have short memories. 30 - 60 times a game, a white rubber ball is hurled at the goalie at speeds that can top 100 miles an hour. There is no way he will stop every single one. But its not only the ones that pass him by he needs to forget, but also the ones he saves. Too much glory, too much false belief in his invincibility, and the goals start piling up in bunches.

So, I have learned another life lesson. Failure is a process. Success is a process. And they are finite and ephemeral. In both cases, success and failure are tied to an action or inaction, and that action occurs once in a very short time. So, if I lose weight one week, I need to realize that I need to do it all over the next week. And if I gain weight one week, then I need to refocus my efforts the next.

I still believe that process sucks. I so much rather arrive at the end, good or bad. But, in this, process is king, and I need to embrace it.

I am still on for the 14er hike. Looks like we will be doing Mt. Beirstadt, and I am finalizing dates, but we are looking at Sept 22 or the first week in October. Mark Your Calendars! It will be the climb of the decade.

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About nine days ago, I refocused my weight losing energy, reset my goals, and created a mountain of a goal in trying to climb a 14er the weekend after my birthday. What an interesting experiment! I decided that the way to continually be motivated was to force success or failure. So, I eliminated all track of my progress. I told myself that I had lost ZERO pounds, and set the goal to lose 20-30 pounds by the time I was ready to climb the 14er.

I bought the book, Fat Smash after seeing the diet work for a bunch of various people on television. (Yes, I saw the Tyra Banks episode where Dr. Ian Smith showed the success of his diet) I committed to it. The first phase of this diet is a “detox” where one eats mostly fruits and vegetables, some good carbs and fiber. No meat, no cheese, and the hardest thing, no coffee. The first three days sucked, but by day four I had all my energy back, and the diet really wasnt that hard.

In addition, my trainer Heath, gave me the following workout for the week:

3.5 continuous mile this week and a half mile more each week.

To work on elevation gain you will be working the step mill & treadmill with elevation. Each one to three times per week.

8/6 Monday - treadmill 20 min & stepmill 5 minutes.
8/7 Tuesday - treadmill routine with .5 elevation added throughout routine.
8/8 Wednesday - easy bike routine
8/9 Thursday - Stepmill 10minutes & treadmill 20 minutes
8/10 Friday - other treadmill routine with 1% elevation added throughout routine.

AN hour walk/hike on the weekend.

So how did I do? I lost 10.4 pounds in the last week! And on Monday of this week, I completed 60 minutes on the treadmill, with a pretty tough incline, finishing just over 4 miles! I am very proud of myself, but I know that its just the beginning. I need to continue to force failure or success to keep my motivation up.

While the success of the week certainly gets me excited; I know that for me, I need to have a failure, so for lunch I had a Bronx Bomber sandwich from Heidi’s Deli. I will have to overcome this failure this week. I focused back on the diet (the detox ends tomorrow, then I get coffee again! And some meat…) and am planning on another 60min on the treadmill tomorrow am, followed by another 30 minutes of weight training.

Now I am about 12 pounds from the high side of the weight I need to lose, and have about 6 weeks to go.

Here is my workout for this week:

8/13 Mon - 4 miles with routine

8/14 Tues - stepmill 15 minutes - can split time, treadmill - 20 minutes, easy.

8/15 Wed - Easy bike day

8/16 Thurs - 4.5 miles. Flat, outside

8/17 Friday - Other shorter routine with added 1% elevation

A 1.5 hr hike on weekend.

So who is coming with me on the big hike?

When I was in college (University of California, Davis - Go Ags!), I worked in the alumni fund raising department calling alums asking for money. I was good at it, raising over $100,000 in a little over 5 months. I figured I found my calling. (pun not intended)

Right after school, I moved to Washington, DC and after two months of job searching (an interesting experience needing another post on another day), I landed a job at CASE, the Council for Advancement and Support of Education. It was a non-profit that focused on supporting the advancement office (fund raising, alumni relations and communications). It was fun, but when I got a chance to jump to a university, I took it. Over the next seven years, I worked at various schools in DC and California, and in late 2000, tired of slow moving university life, and running smack dab into internal politics, I left and started consulting for a friend’s startup.

Why is this important? Well, as I continued my university life I realized that a unique quality paradigm existed in university administration: the incompetent people were fired; the good people left; and the mediocre people were promoted. Because of the high level of mediocrity, self-motivation didnt exist, and wasnt welcome.

How does that connect to my weight loss? Well, last night I was watching the season finale of Shaq’s Big Challenge. Its a show where Shaq took six kids and provides them nutritionists, trainers, doctors, etc. to lose weight, all in an effort to curb childhood obesity. What was interesting to me, after nine months there was one kid who lost 77 pounds, surpassing his goal; one kid who lost 40 lbs, but clearly needed to lose another 20-30 lbs; and one kid who lost 25 lbs.

• Chris lost 77 lbs. It was clear that he was completely self-motivated by his success to keep off the weight and continue his healthy lifestyle.
• Kit lost 23 lbs. She was self-motivated by her failure to lose more.
• Ariel lost 40 lbs. She was content to be “normal.” She had little self-motivation to continue to work hard, because she tasted success and didnt really fail.

I thought about this, in regards to my progress. I have lost 40lbs, but it has taken a long time, with many ups and downs. My motivation has ebbed and flowed. But, it seems that as soon as I consistently weighed less than 300 lbs, my motivation has completely disappeared. Much like Ariel, I have had some success and havent really failed. My fear is that I will be status quo for months before my motivation comes back. How can I get it back now?

Here is what I decided. I am going to disregard all my previous successes and start over.

So, hello: This is my fatblog. I weigh 293 lbs and need to start losing weight.

And, I decided to set myself a goal. Heath Perry, my personal trainer suggested completing my first 14teener on my birthday, which is two months away (September 25). Not a bad idea, scares the hell out of me, and will be challenging. So, I committed to it. The Saturday after my 36th birthday, I will be climbing my first 14teener.

The only rule will be that I have to lose 10% of my current weight by then. That will put me at about 263 lbs. Yikes!

This new tactic should eliminate my state of mediocrity and reminds me that the best way to learn to duck is to get punched in the face.

My father said something interesting to me this weekend. He said that I view failure as part of the process, and thats why I am open to risk. The worst thing that could happen to me is a learning experience. So, hopefully my recent failure at consistent and significant weight loss will be a learning experience, and this new goal and way of looking at my battle of the belly will lead toward success. Which, will be rather motivating…

And, I will post the workout Heath gives me, and the 14teener we plan on climbing. All are welcome to join in on the “fun.”