Snoopy used to always start his stories with the line “One dark and stormy night…” and so in homage:

One dark and stormy night, a few days before Christmas, all was quiet in the house except for the tap of my keyboard. Instant messages, tweets, and web surfing was going on, whilst in the other room, my two dogs, Billie and Taylor, played together given they were staying home from school.

At first, there was a small squeak and then a large tear. I heard a grumble, and what only could be considered a cheer. I quickly ran to the other room to see what had transpired, and with no dogs in sight, I came across:

The Pink Flamingo had not a chance. I looked for Billie and Taylor, both say next to the door, with an innocent look in their eyes. I could almost swear Billie pointed to one of the cats as she walked away.

I returned to my desk and my typing, slowing becoming engrossed in blog posts. Another scream arose from the bedroom. Followed by the quickly scampering feet (8 in all) of Billie and Taylor exiting the room at a high rate of speed.

A quick peruse of the room uncovered victim #2: Christmas Moose

Poor Christmas Moose, we barely knew you.

Now a bit frightened, I returned to my office. Seeing that the pooches were on a Christmas Wave of Destruction, I decided to quietly go back to work. I continue to pretend that nothing was going on, while squeaks and crunching and other non-Christmas sounds emanated from the front room. Knowing that Billie and Talyor were now in the HamSwords practice spaceit was time to see what they were doing.

When their latest victim, Christmas Monkey, lay in my path, I fell to my knees and wept. Thats right, Micah Gabriel Baldwin, wept.

But not because Pink Flamingo, Christmas Moose and Christmas Monkey were dead, but because they cost me almost $75, and lasted less than 3 hours. Stupid dogs!

The Culprits:

Taylor

Billie

UPDATE: When I took the girls outside to use the restroom, I noticed that there was a full moon…perhaps I have were-pooches?