The Douchebag Jumps The Shark
Today marks a very important day. Today I feel like the luckiest man alive…because today I officially became the #1 douchebag in the world.
I will remember the struggle fondly. It was long and hard, and full of obstacles. There was the women in the wheelchair that I didnt help across the street for fear of scuffing my shoes. There was the nice young lady I took out to dinner, only to ask her to pay for the exact amount of her food (which I deftly calculated on my brand new iPhone).
Man, it was hard.
And its so difficult to put into words my feelings right now, so instead, I took a picture:
I think it says it all. And now that I have achieved my lofty goal, I have realized a vital reality that could only be discovered once the douchebag mountain was claimed.
The douchebag has jumped the shark.
That right. Its done, its over. The fat lady has sung. I am over it.
But, is it the end? I dunno. I think that I could take another mountain. I think that I could pass the douchebag crown to someone else, (perhaps Grant Robertson?) and move on to something new.
I dont know what path I should follow. So I ask you, my Douchebag-anics, whats the next next? Whats Douchebag 2.0?
Leave your thoughts in the comments.
(Personally, I am hoping for numbnuts.)
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