The Douchebag Jumps The Shark
Today marks a very important day. Today I feel like the luckiest man alive…because today I officially became the #1 douchebag in the world.
I will remember the struggle fondly. It was long and hard, and full of obstacles. There was the women in the wheelchair that I didnt help across the street for fear of scuffing my shoes. There was the nice young lady I took out to dinner, only to ask her to pay for the exact amount of her food (which I deftly calculated on my brand new iPhone).
Man, it was hard.
And its so difficult to put into words my feelings right now, so instead, I took a picture:
I think it says it all. And now that I have achieved my lofty goal, I have realized a vital reality that could only be discovered once the douchebag mountain was claimed.
The douchebag has jumped the shark.
That right. Its done, its over. The fat lady has sung. I am over it.
But, is it the end? I dunno. I think that I could take another mountain. I think that I could pass the douchebag crown to someone else, (perhaps Grant Robertson?) and move on to something new.
I dont know what path I should follow. So I ask you, my Douchebag-anics, whats the next next? Whats Douchebag 2.0?
Leave your thoughts in the comments.
(Personally, I am hoping for numbnuts.)
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Awesome work!
Thanks Jim. It was time to move on to something new. After all no self respecting douchebag would ever be caught being boring.
I own douchebagday.com. Perhaps today could be named after your accomplishment? :)
dude, that would be totally bad ass. I can even get someone to make it look pretty…you can affiliate it out, and we will make millions!
Congrats! You Da Douche!
Thanks. Any idea on what my next title should be?
The whole thing was just awesome. I want to write a song about it.
Dude, If its like the startupweekend song, I might pass… (kidding!
kinda.)
;)
Congratulations on a mountain well climbed. But I have to question “numbnuts”… It seems so, um, hairily testicular in comparison to your prior achievement.
Besides… Shouldn't real thought leaders be focused on Douchebag 3.0 — the Semantic Douchebag?
p.s. very glad I found your blog :-)
Nick – the semantic douchebag…interesting…must think about that. Perhaps its micro-douchebagging? Would that be the exploration of the link between douchbaggery and cocksuckerish?
Hmm… Some sort of cocksuckerishness that understood the context of the douchbaggery in progress in order to make it more targeted and offensive? You could be on to something there… Or perhaps aggregated micro-douchebagging?
Either way, I think I start to run out of syllables…
Very good points. Perhaps this needs further study. I must ponder.
Wow. Just goes to show that you can accomplish anything if you put your mind to it.
I think you have to ask yourself, why should i go further? I'm already the #1 douche bag. What else could there be?
i love the mission accomplished photo. Well done.
Also good points. Just thinking it would be fun to work on another
challenge. But, I am pretty dominant, so perhaps there is no need?
Oooh!! Congrats!!
We were never in doubt that you'd get there!
Rock on!
Next? You mean, there's a next? would that be sort of like a “Douchbag exit strategy”?? ;)
Whats funny. Its the title of the post is “Douchebag Jumps the Shark.”
Jumping the shark isnt the moment that Happy Days became the greatest
show on earth, its when it no longer was interesting.
When I say mission accomplished, I use it in reference to achieving
what I set out to do, rank well for Douchebag, but interweave it into
my personal branding.
But, when I go to an event, and at least 5 people come up to me with
the same douchebag jokes, etc, its clear that Douchebag has jumped the
shark.
So, yes, its time to move onto the next…
Knowing how hard Micah worked on this goal, I am truly inspired and proud of him for achieving his vision. This could not have been done by a lesser douche.
we believe in you!!!!
we believe in you!!!!