Micah June 2nd

Why Are You A Douchebag?

If you look over to the left sidebar, you will see Skribit, which allows readers of this publication to suggest topics that would like me to write about.

I decided to pick the one that got the most votes.

In writing this post, I have two versions. The short one and the long one. You are welcome to read both or either.

SHORT VERSION:

Q: Why are you a douchebag?

A: Why the fuck do you care?

LONG VERSION:

In February, I wanted to see the power of social media, and “personal branding.” Its something that so many people talk about, and so many people flub.

I was hearing friends say “I wish I could say X, but its not my brand.”

So confusing. Listen people, you are not Coca Cola. You are not The Gap. You have no brand.

You just have you.

As a bit of tongue in cheek SEO action, I decided to build my “personal brand” around being a douchebag.

Why a douchebag, when I could have chosen much more positive terms?

Simple. If social media was what people said it was (a way for people to connect and interact), and if it created an environment where it was difficult to “fake the funk,” then it would be quickly evident that I wasnt a “traditional” douchebag, but rather just Micah making a social statement about “personal branding” and social media.

First thing I did, was write a blog post. Not a long post, but a post that stated my desire to be the #1 douchebag on Google. After all, Google is the definative source for all knowledge (at least to answer most questions). I mean, if Google thought I was a douchebag, then it had to be true!

Then, I started calling myself a douchebag, and more importantly, allowing others to call me a douchebag. I also took umbrage every time someone else referred to themselves or others (not me) as a douchebag.

I (very tongue in cheek) acted like a douchebag on places like Twitter.

And, over the months, I got links back to my post. Finally, I reached the pinnacle of #3 on Google for the term “douchebag” and #1 for the term “#1 Douchebag.” But, more importantly, my “personal brand,” was not harmed in any way by the experiment. Why?

Because, I am me. Always.

To answer the question directly, “why are you a douchebag?” The answer is simple. To show that the concept of “personal brand” is not something one can “build, grow or develop.” To show that personal branding isnt a thing you work on. That the reality of personal branding isnt a big secret.

The reality of it, the real truth of it, is simple.

#1: You are You. Learn it. Love it. Live it.

I am a proud douchebag.

#2: Leave the branding to GE.

Who is GE again? God, I’m such a douchebag.

Popularity: 4% [?]

  • You really are the #1 douche bag.

    Let's see if wikipedians let my external links edit to this post stay:

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Douche
  • Peter, you would be a god in my eyes if you pull that off.

    Of course, god of what I have no idea? Perhaps Rambo 3 based on your
    twitter avatar?
  • Stephanie
    So you aren't a "traditional" douchebag? I think I'm going to cry myself to sleep...

    The most authentic people are the most interesting, surely you are respected for that reason. I also believe self deprecation nurtures empathy.

    Kudos Micah, you have created a new brand douchebag... that's better than New Coke!
  • I have never been a "traditional" anything...

    I like the idea that I have create a "new" douchebag, which would mean
    by definition that I am the leader of a new band, a new world, a new
    universe of douchebags!

    I like it!
  • Ahh, a marketer after my own heart! Nice work on this. You totally got me. Armano hooked me from a live twitter of your presentation, and since I love the word douchebag I was hooked on the story.

    I agree with you. Your brand isn't hurt. In fact, it's stronger now.

    Hey, have you seen the latest twitter killer at www.zobzee.com? It's from the creators of the wildly successful Blogrush competitor www.blogbucks.com.
  • Jim, its great to hear that Armano "got ya!" That dude is funny.

    I think it has worked out, although I am waiting for the backlash.

    I havent tried our zobzee yet, although I see you talking about them a lot. I will check them out now...
  • hubs
    Just so you know, this bad ass mother fucker did it way back in 2005 when social media was just a baby and twitter was a sparkle in your eye. The dud has his own color and paint now. What color is douche bag?
  • A douchebag is always the same color: whatever the ladies love.
  • L.L. Douchebag!
  • Hubs I think you are having a bit too much fun with this.
  • Indeed. And I refuse to apologize for it.
  • a true douchebag never apologizes.
  • All good...luv the experiment. You're right, you cannot create a personal brand, only uncover it! This exercise does say something about you though to potential employers, partners etc...you are a fun, adventurous and slightly cynical but proud douchebag...scarily, your personal brand is not what you say about yourself, but what others say about you, so pay heed to these comments! BTW I learned you were a douchebag via Google Alerts...so you are right - Google does have all then answers!
  • Luke you found me through Google Alerts? 1) you are tracking the word douche bag? And 2) have you tried my friend's site http://filtrbox.com? Much better (invite code: douchebag) - of course. ;)
  • Just thought I'd share this since its relevant to your post and quite hilarious:
    http://www.theofficialdouchebagmeter.com
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