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VCWears On My Ass

by Micah on February 20th

So late last week (or maybe early this one, I kinda dont really keep track when its Andrew Hyde. After all he is so bland, that its difficult to remember specific conversations) Andrew told me about his “awesome new idea.” How he and (whatever name he decided to drop) were doing StartupWeekend Kalamazoo and they were getting pitched ideas. After all, we all know that Andrew is really a top notch “entrepremanure” (empasis on the manure) and knows all about venture capital and raising money and whatever.

So, clearly in jest, but hoping to get someone to listen, Andrew continues to blab on and on about Startup Dodge Mini Van or some shit, and how he and (whatever other name he dropped) decided to start the companyVCWear.

Here is how he explained it: “It a tshirt company with overpriced tshirts that are poorly designed that only VCs would want to wear.”

Seriously.

So, being the worlds most helpful guy, I said “Cool. Now go buy me a cup of coffee.” But in a really friendly way. I didnt even call him a moron to his face.

I also gave him a couple of ideas for tshirts just so he thought I really cared about whatever he was talking about. After dropping another name, and saying something really not worth repeating, except I remember it started with StartupWeekend, the King of Community went on another ManDate, and I headed home.

Later that night, I see a tweet from Andrew. My first reaction was to throw up a little in my mouth.

The stupid motherfucker has put up a website and is trying to sell t-shirts so bad that companies like threadless started selling shoes. People decide to go back to wearing button ups. Out of pure pity, I buy one. Immediately I regret it. But, I know that Andrew doesnt work, that Startup Weekend makes less money than a $2 whore on 1/2 price night.

Then just as one would expect, the idiots follow the idiot, Andrew drops another name, and the stupid ass idea shows up on ValleyWag, Techmeme and Mashable. (I would link to the stories, but this post is already worse than Andrew’s sophomoric designs - I love that he says that he designed them “badly” on “purpose.” I guess he does that all the time. Have you seen his blog? Blind monkeys in Bangledash would do a better job.)

Now, I get invited to add a VCWear Facebook app.

Seriously?

Does this guy have any real work to do? What the hell does he do at Trident all day? Pick a different finger to shove up his ass and try to guess the smell of his previous meal?

The bubble is here if this social media douche bag makes a flipping penny on his crap-tastic site. Go buy a shirt from VCWear. Join Andrew Hyde, Douche Bag, in destroying the last piece of dignity in the world.

I really did just throw up in my mouth a little.

DISCLAIMER: If you think I wrote this seriously, then you win a prize. Yes, you guessed it. The I Am a Bigger Douche Bag Than Andrew Hyde Award.

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