Why I Am Going to BlogHer
There are two things about me that immediately would make someone question my decision to go to BlogHer.
(Get your mind out of the gutter, its not my left and right testicles…jeez! But, thats a good one!)
1) I have only been blogging for less than a year. I dont really have a “theme” like the bloggers I look up to have and I am pretty sure that most people just skim my posts for the dirty words.
2) Alright, you got me, its my balls.
For me, all kidding aside, there was a very specific reason I was planning on not attending BlogHer, even though its held this year in my home city, San Francisco (technically I grew up in the South Bay, but if SF can claim the Silicon Valley, I can claim their sorry asses too).
They dont let men speak.
Before you start listing all the reasons why that happens (women are under represented at other conferences, men are loud, with all the hot men in social media, the women couldnt concentrate, etc.) let me be specific.
I dont care if men choose to speak or not.
Now that I have completely confused and bewildered, let me say that I believe (dammit, another one of my tenets) in personal freedom. Like the great Humpty Hump said, “Dowhatcha like, unless you like gang bangin’.”
Conference organizers have the right to set up their conferences any way they want. They can sit behind a “community” and lay the responsibility of the decisions made on the “community,” but at the end of the day, a conference is a business like anything else, and most decisions are made to make a conference profitable (I mean successful).
A conference is also just like a concert. You go if the band is good, but more importantly, you go because your friends will be there.
And, I think, to a certain degree, thats what BlogHer is forgetting. Its not the speakers, although they are nice; its the attendees.
My thinking was: If this is a conference for women, by women; where women can interact in a positive way without the pressures of others being around, how does my presence benefit anyone other than myself?
My good friend Erin chides me by saying “Micah, you have never experienced what its like to have 1000 women in a single place truly enjoying and learning from each other.” She is correct, but again I ask, how does my participation benefit the “community”?
I cant speak on a panel, although I know I have interesting and informational things to say. I will be surrounded by women that are there for each other, not some dude from Boulder.
I can visit family, which is always nice, but I could do it much more cheaply then throwing a conference in the middle of it.
So again, why am I going?
Because its important. Women have been a largely quiet force in most communities for a long time. If it takes a separate event to be able to hear that voice, then I need to go and listen. I need to learn and understand. I need to see and experience.
I dont need to talk. These women can read my blog, or see me speak at other events.
I need to be there. I need to be there so that I can understand why 1,000 women are not comfortable attending the other 8 billion conferences that take place year round.
Because learning all of that will make me a more understanding person and how better to benefit others than to understand them.
Put that in your pipe and smoke it.
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If I was out there I'd go too. Sounds like a great show.
Well said mate. Like you, I'm a bloke attending BlogHer. In my case I'm accompanying a client who is a real part of the community, but I'm really excited to attend personally.
I went to BlogHer business in NYC this year and it was one of the best events I've attended in this space. Great content, and more importantly a wonderful positive vibe.
Looking forward to seeing you there mate – and I assume we'll have few problems finding each other in the crowd :)
I hope you get what you're looking for out of it. But I'd be remiss if I didn't point out that part of what makes women choose BlogHer over the 8 billion other conferences out there *is* that men don't speak there, just women. Because honestly? Women may speak at other conferences, but we're often added as an afterthought or an also ran or worse, a token female. At BlogHer the *assumption* is that every woman speaking there has something to say – not just to add color to a panel otherwise full of men.
But maybe you'll grok that more next month.
Paull it will be fantastic. By then, my Australian gay ninja, Russell,
will be back in the closet. ;)
I think that is such bullshit. I have run conferences. I have been
apart of millions of speaker selections. Women are never an after
thought. Why the forced defensiveness?
A great conference is one where all types of people are heard, and
where you can interact with people you would have a chance to otherwise.
That excuse is crap. Women speak everywhere. And are heard. And are
revered for the information they provide.
I agree with Micah. When I ran conferences in the 1990s the #1 speaker was a woman. Truth of why I like BlogHer (I attended a couple of years ago) is that it's different. I'm bored with conferences lately and I want to go to conferences that are different than any other conferences. BlogHer is different and that makes it interesting.
How can you speak for all the women that attend BlogHer, Lucretia? I've already talked to a dozen or more (that I know personally) who don't care if men speak or want men to speak. You're making a huge sweeping generalization based on what *you* think.
We've had this conversation before and I'm sure we'll have it again. ;-)
I think the main reason BlogHer is so different is that it's not just a conference… it's a community. BlogHer have done a phenomenal job of getting their attendees to interact with each other throughout the year.
Conferences are about bringing together similar people with similar interests. Why don't more conferences copy BlogHer by making it possible for their attendees to connect all year long instead of just one day a year?
Josh, interesting that you suggest building community around a conference. I wonder why (*cough* eventvue *cough*)?
From all I have heard, I think it will be a blast. Too bad you cant make it out!
They don't let men talk?
nope. Which is why you will never attend. No men on panels.
Feel free to bring any one of those women here.
As it is – please note that I specifically said “PART of what makes women choose BlogHer” not “ALL women choose BlogHer because” – if you're going to argue with me, at least argue with what I actually said dude.
Really? Is that why I've had conversations with women about the fact that we are an after thought?
Is that why every time there's a 'nomination list' of qualified folks in social media there always has to be someone in the comments pointing out qualified women who were left out?
Sorry bud, but until you grow a vagina, you're talking from the other camp about what it's like to be in mine.
Sorry Robert – but you've got the same disqualifying features as Micah does… and that is, the inability to be a member of the class that feels disenfranchised.
“#1 speaker was a woman” is not the same thing as “women are playing on an equal field when it comes to speaking engagements..”
You can speak to why *you* as a man find BlogHer compelling – you can not tell me why I as a woman do – or why the other women I've spoken to at length about this do.
Now why would you say never? You were there when Erin was discussing the fact that they are considering changing that policy in the next few years as the dynamics of the conference change.
Never is a long time.
to indicated that I dont understand disenfranchisement because I dont have the correct physical features is as much bullshit as your original assertion.
For a “excluded” group to create a “exclusionary” group in order to feel “included” is just flawed.
Why the desire to separate? Why not a desire to integrate?
Also, if I followed your logic, there is no value in my attending until I underwent a sex change operation, but I could never understand the issues, or attempt to learn from the attendees.
I will say it once, and I will say it again. Bullshit.
I'm not going to rewrite what I already replied to Adrienne below, since it's your blog and you can read it for yourself.
You and I are going to have to agree to disagree. But in the future? You could try to refrain from calling my perspective on something “Bullshit” when it differs from yours.
I've shown you a level of respect that you aren't showing me. And if you think that sort of interaction is acceptable to me, you are incorrect.
I suppose it's your prerogative in your blog – but to be honest? It makes me less likely to continue reading it or to comment in the future.
By indicating that I have not the ability to understand the reason for the need for a conference like blogher because I dont have a vagina, is dismissive, asinine, and offensive. So, yes, your comment that I need a vagina to understand these things is bullshit. period. done.
I showed you an appropriate level of respect by 1) posting your comment no matter how offensive it was; and 2) responding to it.
If you dont understand why I found it offensive, then I am happy to explain. But, please reread the post. I am extremely specific about my reasons for wanting to go, primarily focused around learning. Yet, if I follow your logic, I have no chance of learning anything because I dont have a vagina.
And that, my friend, is bullshit.
Right – last thing I'm going to say about it – clearly, your ability to follow your own timeline is incorrect.
You used the word “Bullshit” to describe by initial post. You can now go back and re-read it and tell me where I said that you have no chance of learning anything because you don't have a vagina in that post.
When you realize that you started slinging the mud, I hope you understand why I've lost a great deal of respect over this interaction.
“I think that is such bullshit.” was your response to what I said about why women choose to attend the event.
Try to find where I said “you can't learn anything because you don't have a vagina.” Go ahead. Try. Because I'm VERY careful about what I say and how I say it – and I've never said that to anyone in my life.
I said – and I'll copy & past it to make it quite clear to you again:
“Sorry bud, but until you grow a vagina, you're talking from the other camp about what it's like to be in mine. “
And until you do? You have as little ability to tell me what my experiences as a woman in the Tech field are as I have to tell an African American what his/hers are with any authority.
But since you are going to just insult me rather than actually address what I've said? I'm done with it. I don't bother to even attempt to discuss things with someone who doesn't bother to actually address what I've said.
I'm not going to rewrite what I already replied to Adrienne below, since it's your blog and you can read it for yourself.
You and I are going to have to agree to disagree. But in the future? You could try to refrain from calling my perspective on something “Bullshit” when it differs from yours.
I've shown you a level of respect that you aren't showing me. And if you think that sort of interaction is acceptable to me, you are incorrect.
I suppose it's your prerogative in your blog – but to be honest? It makes me less likely to continue reading it or to comment in the future.
By indicating that I have not the ability to understand the reason for the need for a conference like blogher because I dont have a vagina, is dismissive, asinine, and offensive. So, yes, your comment that I need a vagina to understand these things is bullshit. period. done.
I showed you an appropriate level of respect by 1) posting your comment no matter how offensive it was; and 2) responding to it.
If you dont understand why I found it offensive, then I am happy to explain. But, please reread the post. I am extremely specific about my reasons for wanting to go, primarily focused around learning. Yet, if I follow your logic, I have no chance of learning anything because I dont have a vagina.
And that, my friend, is bullshit.
Right – last thing I'm going to say about it – clearly, your ability to follow your own timeline is incorrect.
You used the word “Bullshit” to describe by initial post. You can now go back and re-read it and tell me where I said that you have no chance of learning anything because you don't have a vagina in that post.
When you realize that you started slinging the mud, I hope you understand why I've lost a great deal of respect over this interaction.
“I think that is such bullshit.” was your response to what I said about why women choose to attend the event.
Try to find where I said “you can't learn anything because you don't have a vagina.” Go ahead. Try. Because I'm VERY careful about what I say and how I say it – and I've never said that to anyone in my life.
I said – and I'll copy & past it to make it quite clear to you again:
“Sorry bud, but until you grow a vagina, you're talking from the other camp about what it's like to be in mine. “
And until you do? You have as little ability to tell me what my experiences as a woman in the Tech field are as I have to tell an African American what his/hers are with any authority.
But since you are going to just insult me rather than actually address what I've said? I'm done with it. I don't bother to even attempt to discuss things with someone who doesn't bother to actually address what I've said.
Nope. Done. There's no respect. That's the basis for my interactions with people – mutual respect.
Wow! This one got all controversial, Micah!
I haven't been to BlogHer, so I can't really speak to the tone or feel of the conference. I've heard both good and bad things from women that have attended, so I assume it's like every other conference on earth in that sense.
I do think that the exclusion of men as speakers doesn't necessarily make sense. I'd think the best person to have speak would be the best person in that field, regardless of their gender. That's what I'd want to see, at least, whether the conference was geared towards my gender or not.
Granted, that means Micah will never get to speak, but… ;)
But, again, not going, so perhaps my opinion is moot. I also haven't experienced any sort of barrier to entry or glass ceiling online, so I can't speak to that, either. I think writers have it much easier than most other fields that create or work on anything in this space.
Meg, I think thats a good point. I have never been to BlogHer (not
sure if anyone else that has commented has), so I dont know what to
expect, which was my point in the first place. I am going to learn.
Hopefully, it doesnt require girly parts, and it will be as good a
time as people say it is.
I have an arguably unique perspective on purely women's conferences.
You see, Microsoft invited me to attend and present at them for the past couple of years. Each time I am one of fewer than 5 men at the event. My bio should still be online at http://www.inventyourfuture.com/conferencespeak... – which is the event at which I presented.
That does create a fun little problem – everyone typically is dying to find out why I am so special. :)
It helped me get a better understanding of the challenges facing women in corporate world. It was also interesting to work through some business case studies. One Stanford professor, Margaret A. Neale, particularly stands out as a speaker. She sold me on the quality of Stanford GSB in less than an hour, basically. :)
So, put InventYourFuture on your agenda for next year if you seek more women's-only conferences to attend. Besides me, you'll be one of very few guys to even know of its existence. Microsoft provides the space at their Mountain View campus. The first conference was geared toward entrepreneurs. This year's conference was more for corporate women. Frankly, that reduced its value to me as that's not my target audience.