My Dirty Little Secret
I have a dirty little secret. Probably one you wouldnt believe just by meeting me. I would hazard to guess that my best friends, and even my family dont know about it.
Its something I never saw aloud.
Today, I saw the movie 500 Days of Summer. (thats not the secret). I liked it a lot, even though it was a bit one-track and pretty over-your-head with the messaging. (still not the secret). It was a great exploration of the difference between expectations and assumptions. (going to make you wait).
It certainly got me thinking about all kinds of things. From work, to passions, and of course to relationships.
Which made me think it was time to reveal my dirty little secret.
I hate people.
Ok, so maybe thats not such a revelation. The truth is I love most people. I thrive on one-to-one interactions. I can even enjoy a small gathering. But, large groups, parties, events and anything where there is a large number of people all acting in expected ways, where it is assumed that I will quickly, easily and happily join in the fun are pure hell for me.
I know this is a surprise for some folks. After all, Ive never been nervous speaking in front of large numbers of people (from hundreds to thousands). I put my all into my speaking appearances, and frankly, really enjoy doing them. I have been in positions my entire career where my entire job is centered on being involved with people and attending large events frequently and constantly.
But, I hate it.
Here is how attendance at some event usually goes (Lets take the Twiistup party, since it was relatively recent).
Step 1: I have long hated how I look, so I tend to lean on the “I dont care” look. If I am going to be unhappy for the next several hours, I might as well be comfortable. Usually consists of changing my tshirt.
Step 2: I text, email, DM, call my friends that I know will be there, so I dont show up alone. I always assume that its easy to tell that I am a square peg in a room full of star-shaped, round, octagon and various other non-square shaped holes if I arrive with a few star-shaped, round, octagon and various other non-square shaped pegs. Usually this takes a bit of time, so I surf porn while waiting. (Well, not really, I am too afraid of the embarrassment of picking up a call and forgetting to hit mute on the laptop. So, usually, I just read blogs.)
Step 3: I get to the event. I walk around for awhile, after all its hard to hit a moving target. Most people dont notice the moving people, its usually the ones standing around that get mentioned. I avoid all photography like it will suck my soul out of my chest on the spot. Finally, I find a spot where a few friends have gathered, and proceed to squeeze into the group, nodding and responding to other’s conversation. (Another thing people dont know about me is that I have a hearing deficiency in my left ear. Basically, in loud situations–like parties–I cant understand a word that is said. So, I tend to nod. A lot.)
Step 4: As people get more and more drunk, and seemingly have a better and better time, I get more and more depressed, hoping that the time when I can make a graceful exit appears. (Usually between 1am – 3am. That way I am out long enough that people remember I was out, but not long enough for anyone to remember that I was a mess in the corner.)
Step 5: I leave. I go back to my room cursing myself for not being able to “just have a good time.” I usually turn on a movie, and fall asleep to whatever is playing. (Since I assume that everyone realizes how uncomfortable I am, I have no meaningful conversations, which means I always go back to my room alone. And by alone, I dont mean just that night, I mean without any real meaningful personal interactions having been begun.)
Often people would say that they have a tendency to push people away, and that is why most of their relationships havent gone well, or that they have had a dirth of positive relationships. I have a tendency to withdraw myself. If things are out of my control, I remove my self from the situation, feeling that its easier to bail out than be found out.
There are other things I do that I think make this harder on me than it needs to be. I assume I am not invited rather than just going. I tend to turn down invitations because I dont want to disappoint. I do the same thing in relationships. I dont accept the truth of actions and words. My first instinct is that I am being used, and that the woman doesnt like me, just likes what I can provide in connections or things. BUT…thats a blog post for another day…
Frankly, in large events, I spend too much time in my own head and withdrawn shell in a defensive maneuver to be part of it all, but not really stand out.
Standing out was my old tactic. I drank, partied, spent money, was loud, and generally brought the spot light on myself, because it was easier to hide my uneasiness behind noise. Now that I dont drink, party or spend much money, being loud and becoming a focus on the party is just way too hard and totally unfulfilling.
So there you go. My dirty little secret. If you want to spend quality time with me, please dont invite me to a party, invite me to dinner (even if its with a small number of people). And, more importantly, if you see me being quiet or mopey, its not because I am depressed or because of you.
Its because I hate people.
Popularity: 10% [?]
Sounds like you have a Social Anxiety Disorder. Many people do. I shared similar thoughts, but not the same extreme and alcohol was not a factor with me. I am no doctor, but in reading what you said it seems plausible. I don't know you or pretend to be inside your head, but perhaps talking with a qualified party may shed some more light for you. That is, if that is what you are looking for.
Sounds like you have a Social Anxiety Disorder. Many people do. I shared similar thoughts, but not the same extreme and alcohol was not a factor with me. I am no doctor, but in reading what you said it seems plausible. I don't know you or pretend to be inside your head, but perhaps talking with a qualified party may shed some more light for you. That is, if that is what you are looking for.
Micah,
I feel like you wrote my confession, too. When I was at SMU as a full scholarship student, I would hide in the bathrooms if I didn't recognize anyone at the events. The kids on scholarship would have to meet the benefactors at lavish parties, to demonstrate the intellect of the kids that they've blown a ton of money to sponsor. So you'd put on a show– say some intelligent things– then exit as quickly as possible.
But I've discovered over time that conferences can be enjoyable– as you start a personal interest in seeing others succeed. I've found that my interest in helping folks who genuinely are in need outweighed my desire to be anonymous. I don't hide in the bathrooms anymore or just gorge my face at the food table (my mouth is full, so I can't talk to you)– but I still distance myself by working on my blackberry and stepping outside to take calls.
Takes guts to make a post about how you hate people. I congratulate you.
Micah,
I feel like you wrote my confession, too. When I was at SMU as a full scholarship student, I would hide in the bathrooms if I didn't recognize anyone at the events. The kids on scholarship would have to meet the benefactors at lavish parties, to demonstrate the intellect of the kids that they've blown a ton of money to sponsor. So you'd put on a show– say some intelligent things– then exit as quickly as possible.
But I've discovered over time that conferences can be enjoyable– as you start a personal interest in seeing others succeed. I've found that my interest in helping folks who genuinely are in need outweighed my desire to be anonymous. I don't hide in the bathrooms anymore or just gorge my face at the food table (my mouth is full, so I can't talk to you)– but I still distance myself by working on my blackberry and stepping outside to take calls.
Takes guts to make a post about how you hate people. I congratulate you.
Thanks for the suggestion. Im pretty sure being bipolar has a bunch more to do with it than social anxiety. After all, I speak in front of huge crowds 20+ times a year, and its a joy. I literally have little to no nervousness about that.
I honestly think its the weight of expectations. Those I place on myself and those I think others are placing on me. Who knows?
Thanks for the suggestion. Im pretty sure being bipolar has a bunch more to do with it than social anxiety. After all, I speak in front of huge crowds 20+ times a year, and its a joy. I literally have little to no nervousness about that.
I honestly think its the weight of expectations. Those I place on myself and those I think others are placing on me. Who knows?
Thanks Dennis. After my posts on my bipolar and drug addiction, I figure this one aint so bad! LOL.
I think it might be a mix of finding it hard to understand people, plus being super self-conscious, plus applying way too many expectations on myself. I dunno…its also why I have never had a real party at my house. Hopefully, one day I will marry a woman who loves doing all that stuff, so I dont have to…
Thank you for being so honest. I think a lot of people and even in the tech industry feel this way. It's harder when people just assume you are hip, witty and bigger than life and associate the perception of what it is you do professionally with who you really are. Everybody seems to be somebody and somebody funnier, happier, prettier and more witty than they really are in social media. Which is interesting since at your recent Twiistup panel you guys talked about the need to be authentic. I'm in PR and in many ways, often feel the same way you do at events and parties. It's refreshing to see someone like you be so damn real.
I love this post. We haven't gotten to meet yet, but when our paths next cross I am totally content to have coffee or lunch with you. I love the one on one. Some people get it (for example, lunch with Stowe Boyd was a highlight of Enterprise 2.0 for me – it was nice to sit and talk and focus on one person's dreams and ideas for a while).
Thanks for sharing. I don't think you're the only one . . . . you're just honest and open with your feelings and that makes for a great human being.
Well, that would be it then. I must say that it does require a lot of introspection to be that honest with yourself. You are much better of than most people I know. Hey, I struggle with “living in my own head” and feel many of the emotions that you speak of. While I can empathize and evaluate others it is often difficult to be really honest with myself sometimes. That is, being truly objective and being ALWAYS happy in my own skin. Our brains and our emotions are difficult tools to manage. Having a chemical or physical imbalance makes it all the more difficult. Being able to enjoy a connection with people but only on my own terms – my comfort zone, is a difficult proposition often. The fact is, I cannot control how others think and feel – especially about me. My control ends after my comfort is exceeded. I would liken that to what you said about speaking to crowds about what you know and what your opinions are… once you have passed the point of that interplay where you have some sort of control over the situation speaking about what you KNOW to a large crowd, all of a sudden it becomes more personal with an individual or smaller group. You have to deal with people one-on-one. Then, the feeling of being judged and or evaluated begins to hit home. Uncertainty clouds what was previously clear in your mind. What does this person really think of me, of what I am? How do I look? Do I smell? Why did I just lie right to that person's face to make me seem better than I feel right now? What the hell am I doing here? I need to go…. I have wrestled with similar such things and it's not easy. The larger issue for me was accepting myself for who I am. Not there yet, but better every day. I am lucky in that I have someone to bounce these thoughts in my head off of. I did have to seek that person out though. Just my like 10¢. I wish you luck in that regard.
Well, that would be it then. I must say that it does require a lot of introspection to be that honest with yourself. You are much better of than most people I know. Hey, I struggle with “living in my own head” and feel many of the emotions that you speak of. While I can empathize and evaluate others it is often difficult to be really honest with myself sometimes. That is, being truly objective and being ALWAYS happy in my own skin. Our brains and our emotions are difficult tools to manage. Having a chemical or physical imbalance makes it all the more difficult. Being able to enjoy a connection with people but only on my own terms – my comfort zone, is a difficult proposition often. The fact is, I cannot control how others think and feel – especially about me. My control ends after my comfort is exceeded. I would liken that to what you said about speaking to crowds about what you know and what your opinions are… once you have passed the point of that interplay where you have some sort of control over the situation speaking about what you KNOW to a large crowd, all of a sudden it becomes more personal with an individual or smaller group. You have to deal with people one-on-one. Then, the feeling of being judged and or evaluated begins to hit home. Uncertainty clouds what was previously clear in your mind. What does this person really think of me, of what I am? How do I look? Do I smell? Why did I just lie right to that person's face to make me seem better than I feel right now? What the hell am I doing here? I need to go…. I have wrestled with similar such things and it's not easy. The larger issue for me was accepting myself for who I am. Not there yet, but better every day. I am lucky in that I have someone to bounce these thoughts in my head off of. I did have to seek that person out though. Just my like 10¢. I wish you luck in that regard.
Micah,
I never thought about it that way before. I tend to go to a bunch of events here in DC each month and will talk in front of all of them with no, problem if need be. When it comes to meeting them after wards, I too hangout with people I know already. At a few of the events I will just go to see and talk with friends, since it's the only time we can get together to talk. I much prefer meeting with a few people to up to a dozen so I can have some real conversations and learn more about them and the new people I met.
This last Friday a friend asked if I wanted to meet him and a bunch of accessibility people out after work. I figured it couldn't be to bad, since I already knew him and then noticed another friend on the invite later that day. Ended up being a great learning experience in the smaller group of a dozen people. Still wish restaurants would keep the music lower so you don't have to yell or lean in so close to people to here. which tends to be strange for me when carrying on conversations with people that are blind. It's my problem not theirs.
The interesting part of the event was getting to ask accessibility questions to individuals that were blind and/or had other disabilities on a one to one basis. This allowed me to try and learn how to make websites better for them and also have first hand examples from them to tell people when doing my talks.
Also by being able to go to a smaller gathering than a big party I was able to learn a lot more and make much better connections. This is something that Gary V. does very well when in a big crowd that is trying to get to speak to him. He is not one of those people if talking to you will see a big name person and blow you off and go find them. He is truley a people person that will spend time talking with anyone no matter the question or the topic until they are satisfied. Trying work on my people skills to be more like him in that matter.
Thanks, again for sharing and I still own you a dinner and yes, we can do it with just us or a few people, which will make it easier on us both.
P.S. I feel like the short fat kid that got picked on when I was younger still. Just now I have added in graying and balding to the mix. That's were I think people are judging me. Yes, I'm trying to let it go and not care what others think, but just me.
Micah, as always, I think you're the man. A thoughtful and interesting post; certainly one that a lot of people are nodding at in agreement and understanding. With that said, lets try to have more 'quality' time together.
The post makes it seem as if the issues are more about your feelings and comfort level with yourself than about hating other people. Is the hating people refrain more an attempt at humor (or am I just not interpreting this whole post very well–this is my first time reading your blog so I have little context other than what's said in this post alone) than a serious statement? I'm not saying hating people isn't the issue, only you know your own issues; I'm only saying that the details in the post don't support that point in my opinion.
It seems you very much do like people and want to make connections but just aren't often comfortable doing it in this particular setting. As for soc. anx. dis. I'm not suggesting it all but I do wonder aloud if simply being comfortable speaking to a group (and I'm talking in general here, I'm not specifying this to your particular situation) is enough to eliminate it as a possibility I don't know enough about it, so it certainly could be, but I see a big difference between the two scenarios of public speaking and being a guest at a large party.
When you do public speaking, your official, predetermined role as a peson others are there to listen to sets up a totally different (and I think in many ways easier) dynamic than when you are at a party among fellow partygoers and having to rely on yourself only rather than on your role as a speak for an event, to interact with others.
Either way, I know that this type of thing is an issue for far more people than most might think. Just knowing that helps a lot I think. While one person is sitting there being self-conscious or uncomfortable thinking everyone else has got it easy, tons of other guests (including the ones who look like they have it easy and are having a great time) would probably love to have that uncomfortable person approach them and take an interest in them and start a conversation. They very well may be self-conscious and uncomfortable themselves and hiding it as best as they can.
I do better in small groups and with individuals than in large groups too, but by removing the expectation element that you talk about and letting go of the self-consciousness and letting it just become about genuine communication and interaction, I've come to enjoy most parties (and leave early from the ones I don't!)
I appreciate your honesty and openness in this post. If this is an issue you want to work on, then best of luck to you. And if not, hey, we're all different, nothing wrong with preferring intimate dinners to massive parties!
The post makes it seem as if the issues are more about your feelings and comfort level with yourself than about hating other people. Is the hating people refrain more an attempt at humor (or am I just not interpreting this whole post very well–this is my first time reading your blog so I have little context other than what's said in this post alone) than a serious statement? I'm not saying hating people isn't the issue, only you know your own issues; I'm only saying that the details in the post don't support that point in my opinion.
It seems you very much do like people and want to make connections but just aren't often comfortable doing it in this particular setting. As for soc. anx. dis. I'm not suggesting it all but I do wonder aloud if simply being comfortable speaking to a group (and I'm talking in general here, I'm not specifying this to your particular situation) is enough to eliminate it as a possibility I don't know enough about it, so it certainly could be, but I see a big difference between the two scenarios of public speaking and being a guest at a large party.
When you do public speaking, your official, predetermined role as a peson others are there to listen to sets up a totally different (and I think in many ways easier) dynamic than when you are at a party among fellow partygoers and having to rely on yourself only rather than on your role as a speak for an event, to interact with others.
Either way, I know that this type of thing is an issue for far more people than most might think. Just knowing that helps a lot I think. While one person is sitting there being self-conscious or uncomfortable thinking everyone else has got it easy, tons of other guests (including the ones who look like they have it easy and are having a great time) would probably love to have that uncomfortable person approach them and take an interest in them and start a conversation. They very well may be self-conscious and uncomfortable themselves and hiding it as best as they can.
I do better in small groups and with individuals than in large groups too, but by removing the expectation element that you talk about and letting go of the self-consciousness and letting it just become about genuine communication and interaction, I've come to enjoy most parties (and leave early from the ones I don't!)
I appreciate your honesty and openness in this post. If this is an issue you want to work on, then best of luck to you. And if not, hey, we're all different, nothing wrong with preferring intimate dinners to massive parties!
By the way, sorry, I know you did clarify early on that you don't hate people really. I guess it was just your choice to close with that statement as the ending refrain that made me want to clarify that clearly this post isn't really about that. (Hope that makes sense.)
By the way, sorry, I know you did clarify early on that you don't hate people really. I guess it was just your choice to close with that statement as the ending refrain that made me want to clarify that clearly this post isn't really about that. (Hope that makes sense.)
any time my friend. As long as I can make fun of Rachel and make her uncomfortable, I am all in! (Im kidding of course…)
Thanks John. I think its also why people often mistake me for being stand-offish, cold or even, god-forbid, a douchebag. Its just that I am so uncomfortable, that its hard for me to be my normal self. Hmmm, perhaps a topic for my next therapy appt?!? :)
Given the respect I have for you, I cant wait to finally cross paths. Maybe at Web20Expo in NYC?
Thanks. But, to be honest, being honest doesnt make one a great human being. Its a requirement for sure, but I have lots to accomplish before I get that moniker… :)
I'd love to :) Not sure if I'll be at the Expo, but NYC is only a bus or train ride away for me regardless.
Rejoice! You're not alone in your “dirty little secret”. And your DLS isn't so secret any more — not since my co-author Jonathan Littman and I wrote “I Hate People!”, our business book with attitude. And even though it's mostly about dealing with a variety of jerks at work, IHP! can help anyone figure out some workaround for the clods and crowd who drive us mad. Even if you don't want to buy the book — it's available everywhere — please visit our blog to get some free tips and to take out I Hate People! Pop Quiz to discover just how deep your Hate runs.
And to show we don't hate you, I'm going to put “Learn To Duck” up on our Blogs Making Sense roll right now!
seriously? WTF? Im happy to leave the comment up (I removed the links), but seriously?
Micah:
I think it's all a matter of meaningful conversations. I've gone to and attended many large parties, small gatherings, and dinners with just a couple of people. The small gaterings always have the best conversation, but the big gaterings are good for meeting new and interesting people. I've decided restaurants even suck compared to getting together at someones house/apartment, thus there's less of a rush compared to a restuarant. No one even cares how big, little, cluttered or crappy the house is where they meet. I think people just like to get together and have good conversation. I think too many people are worried about what people will think about how they live, and thus do not invite people over.
PS- We were supposed to hook up a few weeks ago, both got too busy, maybe we can do it sometime at a later date.
Im sure we will connect soon. I mean we have to right?
Thanks. But, to be honest, being honest doesnt make one a great human being.
Its a requirement for sure, but I have lots to accomplish before I get that
moniker… :)
Thanks John. I think its also why people often mistake me for being
stand-offish, cold or even, god-forbid, a douchebag. Its just that I am so
uncomfortable, that its hard for me to be my normal self. Hmmm, perhaps a
topic for my next therapy appt?!? :)
This is actually pretty normal. It is a variant of social anxiety, but I won't say 'disorder' because, like 'attention deficit disorder', so many people have it, that there's not that much disorderly about it in the first place.
To be honest, this type of thing gets worse when you're feeling like you're in the spotlight. I'm a talkshow host (on the radio and on the web), and I discuss being social, dating, and relationships. Often, I'm quite social. Many times, though, especially when people EXPECT me to be social and extra-outgoing, I feel even more like crawling into my shell. This has to do with a certain disparity between who you feel like you are and who OTHERS expect you to be. It can either empower you or hinder you, and usually it does both at different times.
I've actually put a ton of thought and effort into teaching others how to overcome this. For the past 3 years I've done a show at PickUp Podcast (http://www.pickuppodcast.com) to help people, mostly guys, get over social anxiety towards women. Yeah, it SOUNDS like a very narrow focus, but I've found that once guys commit to learning how to socialize with women, socializing with everyone, young/old/male/female becomes a WHOLE lot easier.
Hope this helps, and I applaud the honesty!
-Jordan Harbinger
PickUp Podcast & The Art of Charm
Micah, have you ever taken the Myers Briggs personality test? Google it and find a free, online one if not. You're probably an I, which means you're an introvert . That doesn't mean you're shy, necessarily, only that large crowds don't charge your batteries and in fact probably make you feel drained.
I'm more or less the same way as you (right down to the alcoholism problem). Lately I've been trying some conversational tricks that seem to help. I find that if I talk to new people using these tricks, I usually have a better time.
Im sure we will connect soon. I mean we have to right?
Thanks. But, to be honest, being honest doesnt make one a great human being.
Its a requirement for sure, but I have lots to accomplish before I get that
moniker… :)
Thanks John. I think its also why people often mistake me for being
stand-offish, cold or even, god-forbid, a douchebag. Its just that I am so
uncomfortable, that its hard for me to be my normal self. Hmmm, perhaps a
topic for my next therapy appt?!? :)
Im not traveling until the 20th of August. Want to try again?
Im not traveling until the 20th of August. Want to try again?
I am an ENTP. I have taken the MB over the years. My E-I is skewed towards
E, but not as big as one might think. My P is off the charts. What are your
tricks?
I am an ENTP. I have taken the MB over the years. My E-I is skewed towards
E, but not as big as one might think. My P is off the charts. What are your
tricks?
Thats really interesting…I will check out your podcast, and let you know
how it goes…
Thats really interesting…I will check out your podcast, and let you know
how it goes…
Same here. ENTP. P off the charts. Great post!
RT @micah: thanks to @chrissaad for getting ECHO up and running on learntoduck. Pretty cool! http://learntoduck.com/micah... (try it out!)
First of all, because it’s the less-significant part of this, ECHO is, dare I say, reeling in the awesome. VERY nice.
Second, I met you for only a moment or two last week, but would not have guessed this about you. Quite frankly, I’m sorry that I didn’t know this about you prior to Thursday night’s “do”, as we’d have made a great team. I attended the party solo, sans wingman. As you did, I came in, all smiles … and kept moving. I held my one drink, sipping as slowly as possible, moving all the while, smiling bemusedly, making jokes and sarcastic quips when appropriate (read: necessary). I think I lasted for about an hour before retreating to my room, where a nice blanket and a funny movie awaited. I greatly prefer smaller, more intimate groups in which I am free to relax and be myself.
Please do let me know how it goes. I've been teaching guys (and
girls) for several years now and I hear daily how we change lives.
You don't have to become a social rockstar like the guys at The Art of
Charm, but it doesn't hurt to give it a shot for a while and at least
learn to have fun with social situations, even if it doesn't become
your fav hobby!
Best,
Jordan Harbinger
The Art of Charm, Inc.
jordan@theartofcharm.com
TheArtofCharm.com
Tel: +1.917.720.4104
The Art of Charm: Either You Have It . . . Or You Learn It From Us.
The greatest compliment you can give me is a referral. Please pass my
information to your friends and colleagues.
Please do let me know how it goes. I've been teaching guys (and
girls) for several years now and I hear daily how we change lives.
You don't have to become a social rockstar like the guys at The Art of
Charm, but it doesn't hurt to give it a shot for a while and at least
learn to have fun with social situations, even if it doesn't become
your fav hobby!
Best,
Jordan Harbinger
The Art of Charm, Inc.
jordan@theartofcharm.com
TheArtofCharm.com
Tel: +1.917.720.4104
The Art of Charm: Either You Have It . . . Or You Learn It From Us.
The greatest compliment you can give me is a referral. Please pass my
information to your friends and colleagues.
man! If I had known that I would have totally hung out…I think I am going to start a mini-support group within every big party for people to hang out in without any expectation or requirements…just need to understand how to get it to work…
Love the post and I can completely relate. About the only thing I learned from a sales class in college (required but taken in place of finance so not all bad) was that Zig Zigglar categorized himself as an introvert as well. What I’ve realized about myself is that I am introvert at heart but also a performer. Being the center of attention in front of a thousand people never bothers me but having to do a grip and grin at a chamber function where I have to introduce myself to people turns my stomach into knots. As always your down to earth tone brings a smile to my face! Thanks!
Me too.
I know im late to this thread, but something like the techstars demo day bring out the “I don’t give a fuck in me”. I absolutely hate people that lead with their ego. The more important they believe they are the more I don’t want to talk to them.
Thats my dirty little “non” secret :-)
Definitely a “non” secret! I totally agree, its tough to deal with people
that have ego, except I wonder if people think I lead with my ego, when its
really just being uncomfortable with being there in the first place. I hate
small talk. I just want to be engaged and be engaging. Ego and small talk
kill that…
2009/8/6 JS-Kit.com Comments <
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Honestly, more people are more like you than what you realize, myself included. And you know what? It is normal. Yeah, my hearing is not one of my stronger senses. I bloody hell hate asking someone to repeat. I bet one day I will be an expert lip reader. Ciao and a high five.
P.S. :Your blog gives me great start-up insight. Pat yourself on the back as you are doing many a service by sharing your knowledge.
Sorry, just testing echo
Yes, i and my wife, us a bipolar. Is very complicate.
Yes, i and my wife, us a bipolar. Is very complicate.
Sounds to me like you just hate small talk. I love talking with people, especially very smart people. Parties are too often small talk. I like hanging around w/ my kids and their friends b/c the goofiness is never as dull as small talk. I don't think you have a social anxiety. I think you are with a lot of us and can't stand to hear about the boring aspects of people's lives. Plus, you probably like to swear. Am I right about that one? In that case, small talk is really difficult. Try, “these are @#$@ delicious tiny pickles on these toothpicks” is rarely received well.
Sounds to me like you just hate small talk. I love talking with people, especially very smart people. Parties are too often small talk. I like hanging around w/ my kids and their friends b/c the goofiness is never as dull as small talk. I don't think you have a social anxiety. I think you are with a lot of us and can't stand to hear about the boring aspects of people's lives. Plus, you probably like to swear. Am I right about that one? In that case, small talk is really difficult. Try, “these are @#$@ delicious tiny pickles on these toothpicks” is rarely received well.
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