Learning “Doing Right” Is Different Than “Being Right”
At SXSW, I saw this cat running around slipping wristbands on people. He and his brother were high energy and attracted a crowd. I had no idea who this person was, until he and his brother, sat down next to me in the Blog Haus.
“Hi,” I said, “Im Micah.” Quick to respond, the dude said “Im Gary, and this is my brother AJ.”
And just like that, I was introducted into the world of GaryVee. Owner of the Wine Library, and apparent Social Media Prodigy, Gary Vaynerchuk has taken the marketing of his wine company, and himself, online is a big way. With thousands of Twitter followers, Faccebook friends, blog readers, video watchers and the like, Gary has found himself an audience, and rather than just use that audience to market his wine company, he has begun to talk about his Succeeding Through Failing. And lately, he has been on fire.
I put Gary’s recent videos in the same class as Chris Brogan’s Social Media 100 project. both have the same message in many ways, in this world of greater connection, those connections mean more than anything. The management and respect of those connections, in a truthful, real way, is the only path to success.
This morning, I got around to watching Gary’s latest video from him personal site, Legacy is Greater Than Currency:
Take a moment to watch it. The general jist of the video is that deferred gratification is preferable to immediate gratification. That what you build in the long term is more important than what you own in the short term.
And, for some reason, watching this video bummed me out.
I have had roaring successes and roaring failures, but never in my history did I experience a collision of both like I did while running Current Wisdom. Professionally, things were exploding. We were doing gangbusters, making money hand over fist, and the good times rolled.
Then, like the Modest Mouse song, The Good Times Are Killing Me, my personal life began to unravel. I made poor choices as to what do with my money; with how to properly manage my new found wealth.
When presented with two options, one that was right, and one that was fun, I chose fun.
Every single time.
After all, I had just turned on a firehose that had no apparent end.
So I had fun. Rock Star fun. Fun like you only see in the movies….boy, and was it fun.
But, it was painful too. My work slipped, which I could deal with (or at least justify away), but my relationships began to fall apart. My phone stopped ringing, my email stopped pinging, my IM went dead silent.
And in an attempt to prove to the world that I was RIGHT; I convinced myself that “Being Right,” was so much more important than “Doing Right.”
And then, one day, April 1, 2006 to be exact, I woke up and realized a few things:
- The Good Times Were Killing Me;
- That I was dead WRONG in my choices;
- That I chose WRONG because I was afraid of RIGHT;
- That the only way to change was to ALWAYS DO RIGHT, and most importantly…
- That the only thing of value I had was my relationships; and
- Relationships only exist in a space filled with Trust, Reliability and Consistency. Which lead to…
- Learning “Doing Right” is different than “Being Right”;
- Being Honest wasnt a 99% of the time thing;
- Being Real wasnt inherent or a predefined set of actions; which meant…
- I always know what the Right Thing is and its my choice to do or not do Right.
The sadness I felt in watching Gary’s video was that I wished that I had watched that video 5 years ago, and listened to it…really listened to it…because all the excitement and good times I had were really smoke and mirrors. It was my actions and my relationships during that time and afterwards that will be my mark.
Each person that touches my life, and each person’s life I touch will be my legacy. And, as much as I tried, that is not something one can buy.
Your Legacy is Greater Than Currency. Thanks for the reminder, Gary.
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If I could go back ten years and have a good talk with myself and teach myself the valuable lessons about delaying gratification (I'm still trying to learn that one) and choose to do right with a long conversation instead of learning the hard way...oh, what might have been.
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So you go ahead and do it anyway, without support or love or an atta girl or a pat on the back. You do it cause you have to.
Thanks for the heads up on Gary. And thanks for your words.
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The truth is that it took me going through all those experiences to see that long term means more than short term. If I had watched that video 5 years ago, I would have dismissed it as feel good crap.
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Deep, very deep. I am glad that you are opening up and discussing things like this, it shows another side of you that is not always readily apparent. "Doing the right thing" is a sign of a leader, but you already knew that and are well on your way to being in that position again.
I am thankful that I met you and that you are part of my life and I am glad to be part of your legacy.
Thanks for being a friend.
Will
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