Learn to Duck

One of my unique skills is the ability to consume large amounts. If you have seen the Tummyblr, you can see physical proof of that.

When I was partying, I consumed enormous amount of booze and drugs. Amounts normally only seen on movies. Amounts so large that other partiers would say “Damn! thats a lot!” Ever see Scarface at the end of the movie? That was me daily. Except for the “lil’ friend” part.

So, why am I surprised after three days of taking Adderall, that my body is beginning to build a tolerance to it? Sunday, day four, I felt lethargic, even taking a nap in the afternoon. I had a decent list of things to do, and I got 1, maybe 2 of the major things done, with a laundry (I guess thats a inside joke, since laundry was on my list that didnt get done) list of things to do. My mood wasnt great. Not awful, but just sort of in the dumps. I ended up watching a lot of tv, and got some decent stuff done that night (I was up until around 2am, which is pretty normal for me).

Monday, I hoped to see a shift. The only change I made was eating before taking my pill. I was in meetings all day, so its hard to determine productivity.

Interestingly, all the side effects I felt the week before were gone. Now, I was getting dry mouth and a bit of an upset stomach. These are common side effects.I didnt feel that same ability to focus that I did the week before. Another interesting point, is my first reaction, which has always been the same, was to take more Adderall. That reaction is what got me in trouble in the first place when I was living the rockstar life.My appetite was interesting as well. While on adderall I was hungry, but didnt really care. As soon as it began to wear off, I would be starving, and want to binge eat. My plan today is to not take anything and judge it against the rest of the week. Most of the folks I have spoken to have said they dont take adderall every day, just the days they “have to focus.” Perhaps I am more busy than the normal person, but there is not a day I DONT have to focus.

The main thing is that now I know that there is something out there that will help me overcome an issue I have had all my life. One that has been a rare mix of bane and boon. One that I once thought defined me, that put the “me” in Micah. But, over the past week, I have realized that ADD has shaped my actions (and inactions), and those defined me.

When thinking about startups and CEOs and leaders isnt action/inaction what defines them? Not their hair, or their speaking style, or their attitude, or even their successes or failures, but their actions and inactions.

Who knew it would take me so long to learn that kindergarden lesson?