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Will The Real Micah Baldwin Please Stand Up?

by Micah on July 30th

A couple of days ago, I wrote a post entitled Accept Hope. For me, it wasnt something difficult or hard, because the very concept, words and thoughts in that post had been spoken and thought about for a long time. It just felt like it was the right time to write it.

You see, Doing The Right Thing, is something I fundamentally believe in. Its a concept that truly changed my life.

I have been going through a process of decision making this week. These decisions, both personal and professional, have been looming for quite awhile. I have learned over the past couple of years, that taking a moment to step back and review the decisions you are making, going to make and have made is good practice. I take all those decisions and I place them against my beliefs and ideals, and the wrong ones really EXPLODE and the right ones just fit.

After making my second big decision, I tweeted:

Soon after I got a dm from a friend that said: “I thought the right choice wasnt a choice at all.”

I responded with: “it’s always a choice. That’s why people fuck up.”

You see its the choosing where the mistakes are made, not the choices themselves. The choices are just that, choices. The rest is free will.

It truly amazes me to watch people continually make bad choices, even why they KNOW the right thing, and then justify the choice as lacking of free will.

When I wrote the post about how my bi-polar and the actions I chose in part because of it, and in part in spite of it, and where those actions brought me, I was just writing something I needed–wanted–to say. Mostly, because I have learned that, for me, writing is cathartic. (Remember, my first rule of blogging, is that I write for me. I assume no one is reading.)

What I didnt expect was the flood of positive response. It floored me. After all, I was just writing about me.

It was the reactions that made me think. Made me wonder why so many people consider me brave, when I am just doing what I feel is right. Why people use words like inspiration and impressed, when I know me, and I am a pretty big fuck up. It is honestly something that I am very uncomfortable with, but have to accept, because its just how people view me. Me? I can just be me.

I started writing this post with the intent of writing about how I dont have an offline and online identity, but I think the truth is that I do. I think most of us do, just some of us have a greater disparity between the identities. Me? I am pretty close to the Real Micah Baldwin offline and online.

I began to wonder why that is. I have heard that for some, their online identities are what they want to be, and for others they want to separate the two. I have spent a lot of time (and money) figuring out who I am, what I am, and what I am to others, and have come to terms with it. Frankly, I kinda like me. So, I have no reason to make the online me different from the offline me. (Even Micah Chic is me. Its the goofball me and its the arrogant me, but its still me.)

I thought I would write my thoughts as to what way is better. Should one be the same person online and offline? Should they be different? I dont know.

I just know that it took me a friggin long time to learn two things: 1) Im a pretty cool cat; and 2) how you view me is your bag, not mine.

Which leaves me, well, with me trying to be the best me. And if in doing that, I gain a bunch of friends that I admire and respect, and more so, that admire and respect themselves and each other, well then…

…I score.

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