Day three on adderall was interesting yesterday. I took it late, around 10am, and headed over to the Cup for some Saturday morning meetings. While I waited for folks to arrive, I began working, after about 30min or so, I found myself in the state that I love so much, when I feel like I can do 100 things at the same time, and it takes me minutes to do what takes others hours. Yes, I had entered the Manic Zone.

It this feeling that leads so many people to talk about ADD as if its beneficial, as if without it, they could not be successful. In many ways, people on cocaine talk about being invincible and being able to do anything while on it. The feeling is not dissimilar.

But, what both groups of people fail to discuss is the other side. The lethargy when you are in a depressed state (perhaps its magnified by my bipolar disease), the inability to complete anything in a timely fashion, the inability to focus on one project and complete it error free. Yes, I can get a ton more done (at least it appears so), but the quality of much of it suffers, and the manic times are so infrequent, that I am mostly in the lazy/lethargic mode, which is easy to dismiss as procrastination.

Back to The Cup. So, for about an hour and a half or two hours, I blazed through emails, blog posts and few other items that were on my list. Time flied by, before I knew it, it was 2pm, and I started to slow down. Interestingly, I dont really remember a ton about the time between 11am and 2pm.

At about 2pm, my friend Danny Newman arrived at the Cup. We had plans to eat and talk through a couple of issues he was having. After about 15 minutes or so, Danny, who has ADD as bad as me, and who has known me for about 6-7 years now, leans over and says “Micah, is everything ok, you are so quiet.”

I hadnt realized that I was concentrating on a single task, and everything around me sort of just disappeared. I had forgotten that Danny was sitting there. This isnt the first time that happened. The day before I tried to dial a phone number while driving and found myself focused on the phone. The first day, I tried this, Tara sat in my office while I tried to send an email, and I forgot she was there.

The most common advice I have been getting from folks is that my dosage might be too high, or I shouldnt be using the time release capsules. Probably true. My plan this week is to find a psychiatrist in Boulder and get an appointment to test some different medications (obviously if anyone has recommendations please email me at micah at currentwisdom dot com).

Today, my plan is to do some unpacking, a couple of mockups of Lijit‘s home page (any suggestions there would also be appreciated), run some errands, set up the HamSwords practice studio, and work on my blog theme.

Yesterday evening, I felt much more normal, perhaps my body is getting used to the adderall. Who knows, but I will say the productivity and the completing of tasks that I have experienced over the past three days convinced me that ADD has little benefit to my life, and I look forward to finding the correct medication and dosage.

And, more importantly, I know now, without a doubt, that if I had chosen to get the correct medication versus self-medicate over the past few years, my level of success would have far surpassed anything that I did achieve. For those that think ADD is purely a benefit, I would be willing to bet dollars to donuts, that in your heart of hearts, you know that its actually a punch in the face.

Popularity: 5% [?]