There Was a Time When I Was The Youngest
I spent the last week in NYC. Not a big surprise, given Graphic.ly and our focus on the digital comic space.
I mean, I travel to NYC about once per month. (My other home away from home? LA. I spend about a week a month there as well. Pretty sure my dogs dont even know who I am anymore.)
This year, as I try to focus on the people, I took time out of my week to really get to know a few folks, with the highlight being Naveen‘s birthday Prom the last night I was in town. I was lucky enough to introduce people to these friends, and meet new people that quickly have become part of my “NYC network.”
I love that all the people I spend time with are highly accomplished. They are entrepreneurs, risk takers and spend most of their time building and doing amazing things. Each one inspires me in unique and interesting ways.
Yesterday, I read Jessica‘s post on her experiences during the past week.
I know a lot of great people doing a lot of BIG things that I’m learning and growing from.
….but, it’s hard not to compare myself to them, especially the ones that are close in age. Unfortunately comparing won’t get me where I want to go…
If you dont know Jessica, she manages a major brand at a major agency, and those words got me thinking.
Since almost birth, I have been ultra-competitive. My grandmother used to tell me stories about the amazing things I did when I was 3. I started my first business when I was 9. When I was 14, I started a pool cleaning business, where I hired all the popular kids in high school, so as a sophomore (I was a freshman at 13) I was invited to all the cool kids parties, etc.
As I got older, I knew that I would always be “the youngest…” whatever. I never looked to age as a hindrance nor as a particular benefit. But being the youngest, became important. It was a competitive thing almost, perhaps a badge of honor.
Then, somewhere along the way, I became old. I was no longer the young guy. There were people younger and sometimes much younger, doing amazing things.
My immediate reaction was that my goals now were to achieve 10x or 100x what my younger peers were achieving. You start a company? I’ll sell one. You get on Techcrunch; I’ll get interviewed by CNN.
Then about a year or two ago, I realized two things.
- It’s ok for others to be better than me at things. It doesnt mean Im not good.
- I need to surround myself with people that are better than me so I can derive inspiration. I need to be driven by their successes to become more successful.
Its not that I dont have intrinsic motivation. I do. But having people that I talk to and work with daily that are just slightly (or in some cases extremely) better than me at something, gives me someone to learn from and to be inspired by.
I know that I have accomplished much in my life. I know that offer my friends as much as they offer me.
But if I cant be challenged by those around me, then why am I spending time with them?
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Enjoyable post, Micah. I have some friends that don't necessarily challenge me, but that have a really awesome sense of humor…I think that's just as valuable as someone that challenges me. Life is hard, it's important to laugh :) But I know you know this already….:)
My old tennis coach told me “Always play Tennis with someone better than yourself.” Its that easy.
Humor only gets you so far missy! ;) I think people can challenge you in
many ways, not always professional. I have people that inspire me to be a
better and others that inspire me to be healthier, etc…
The trick, I think, is finding people that are the right amount better than
you, right?
Great post. When I graduated from college, a friend of mine who I'd had many a late night philosophical conversation with gave me a small plaque that had a little non-rhymy (it's a word cuz I say it is) poem on it. I'll be damned if I can remember it exactly, but it basically said that everyone is just as scared as you are and there is no point in comparing yourself to others – focus on yourself and your internal gauge and never be jealous of others, simply motivated by them.
You know I back this. I absolutely hang out with people who challenge me (including you), people who get me thinking and motivated to move into the next phase of my career. People I can “compete” with.
Know that in my experience that you're good at a tremendous amount, great at a lot, and absolutely exceptional at a few things. I think that's something you can be proud of.
Not being the youngest by far anymore, I have being thinking a lot this year about upping my game. That would be in learning new skills, finally working on my different web applications (picking just one) and the new coding languages that go with all that. Programming and the logic is not the problem it's the syntax and security stuff I need help on.
First problem is I need to spend sometime finding younger, smarter, and faster mentors, along with other people to learn from. Thinking some of them are going to have to be a few close friends to keep me going locally and then others that I have met over the years at conferences to help from a far to help keep me focused.
The other thing is to be able to run a few ideas and possibilities by a a few people to see what they think might work best or at least confirm what I'm thinking is good.
Don't worry about being older, since I will always be about 8 to 10 years older than you, since I turn 47 later this month.
Micah, you have me a little confused about the concept of inspiration. What you said in a previous post (http://learntoduck.com/micah/screw-inspiration) somehow conflicts with what you've said here. To be honest, I sort of agree with both but I'm convinced I'm missing something. How do these two ideas go together?
Micah,
wow…how I can relate to this post. I face the same feelings as you and Jessica all the time. I too was in NYC for pretty much all of last week with SMW and other things (sorry i missed you). Surrounded by successful entrepreneurs and people doing big things, I get overwhelmed with envy and the competitive drive. I've always been extremely competitive and when I see someone else succeeding, the first thing I think is, I can do better. And I hate feeling envious…I much prefer feeling accomplished.
For what it's worth, I envy people like you and Jessica a great deal…I'm still young and I don't know where my path will lead. I guess we can only do our best right?
David
Community Manager, Scribnia.com
Read Amber Rae's post: http://amber-rae.com/post/384206121/embrace-ins... she kinda answered it for me.
no one knows where their path will lead, just sometimes it seems that everything is running in the same direction… :) Sorry I missed you.