Being Selfish, And Why Its A Good Thing

Words have power. We say them and expect their meanings to resonate. Mostly, the words we choose probably connote the meanings we are trying to convey. But, sometimes, words have so many varied meanings, that unless we apply context, their power is lost.

Killer. Used as a noun, it means either a person or thing that kills. Or something or someone having a formidable impact, devastating effect, etc. As a adjective, it can mean anything from difficult to superior. (Dictionary.com)

Yet, other words tend to hold their meaning regardless of context. Those words, often hateful and mean-spirited, immediately cause the message receiver to emote, almost with out thinking.

Idiot. an utterly foolish or senseless person. In psychology, a person of the lowest order in a former classification of mental retardation, having a mental age of less than three years old and an intelligence quotient under 25. (Dictionary.com)

The meanings behind certain words is so immutable, that we tend to fail to every challenge the concepts.

Failure = bad. Selling out = bad. Selfishness = bad.

But, are they always? When Failure is looked at as a process, as a step on the road to success, then it loses its negative power. Selling out, when it allows you to do something bigger and more interesting, is never wrong.

But Selfishness…well, selfishness is always wrong, right?

The other night I was having dinner with a old friend who was discussing an issue that came up at work. “One of our major clients had a blow up, and now my boss is no longer on the account. I think I am going to be fired.”

I suggested that he contact the new account director, outline some ways that he could add value to the relationship, and not worry about his boss. That he should look at it as an opportunity.

“I didnt think of it like that.”

Being selfish, which is what I suggested my friend be, is not always bad. In fact, there are many situations where selfishness is a requirement for success.

We live in a weird time where there is constant discussion of “win-win” situations, where the expected outcome is equality for both parties. “Win-win” is now defined as an outcome where each party receives a positive outcome…equally.

This does not always result in the “best” outcome, only the “most equal” outcome.

Evaluate the situation. Remove the ingrained emotion tied to the desire to obtain equality. Answer the question: “Does putting yourself first create a better overall end game for all participants?”

If answer = yes;

Then selfish = 1

Words have power. We apply meaning and feelings to so many, and yet, often we forget that the true purpose of words is to remove the ambiguity of meaning. We get mired in what is expected of us, rather than what is right. We are more worried about how our actions are viewed, than whether the outcomes are right. We fear how others view us so we stand silent or chose conflicting courses of action.

Doing the right thing is never wrong, regardless of the words surrounding it; just as much as doing the wrong thing is always wrong, regardless of the eloquence describing it.

Focus on the killer outcome. Even if it means being selfish.

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