I bleed a lot. Not in a horrible, unhealthy physically or mentally way, but it just seems that I often find new cuts on my arms, feet, legs.

Now, I do live with animals, and so I can, for example, attribute the blood on my chest from a misguided attempt by Billie (my dog) to remove my nipple, or as the kids say “play with me.”

A second ago, I got up from my desk, and I noticed that the bottom of my foot was cut. Not sure how I cut it, but its cut nonetheless.

Why does this matter?

I’ll get to that.

One of my favorite songs is Please Bleed, by Ben Harper. The equates the ability to bleed as an indication of “realness” and “truth.” Its a great song, with an impassioned vocal. Worth the listen.

How does this fit into my inability to keep myself from injuring myself?

Almost there.

I started thinking about this while watching Dexter. Its a show about the importance of details, and how characters–that are so good at seeing the small details–keep missing the ones that matter. That, for lack of a better word, aint me. I just miss all the details…. :)

Today was my first as an ex-lijit employee. Today, my focus is fully on my new project, and after a weekend talking to a few folks at BlogWorld Expo, I have every reason to be excited.

Building a startup is a rough road. As you pound toward the end goal that is in a constant stage of change, you tend to get a bit banged on on the way. There are the nicks and cuts and scratches that bad business deals, bad employees, mistakes and errors leave both physically and mentally.

Pretty sure thats why most successful entrepreneurs are, well, not pretty. Most have been battle-tested, and while their failures may be crippling, they have not been been crippled by their losses.

Im not sure when it became “cool” to be an entrepreneur, or when the word finally lost all its inherent meaning, but its something that truly disappoints me. Being an entrepreneur is not sexy. Its not hard. Its draining. Its discouraging. It forces you to take ownership over decisions that scare you. It requires blood. It requires an understanding that can only be gained through experience.

I love being a startup guy. I knew when I left higher education fund raising, and began helping a friend build his startup, that I had found my calling. And every since then, I have not even thought about a “real job.”

So, today, I begin running hard on a journey that began a few months ago. My eyeballs feel like they are going to explode and my brow has slid into a permanent furrow.

And, yes, when I got up to get a glass of water, I noticed that I cut my big toe. Again.

Ah, the startup life. I love you so.

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