I love the concept of failure. I look for it in the people I hire. I look for it in the people that I admire.

Failure, for a lack of a better word, is good.

But is it always? Can there come a point where too much (or too deep) failure is a bad thing?

Yesterday I was talking to a friend of mine who decided to pass on a job at one startup for a job at another. Each startup, both in very different worlds, appear to have the same chance of success or failure.

When asked why he said (in essence): The startup he selected appeared to be more stable. That the road to success was clearer, and therefore, less of a roller coaster ride.

Fair enough.

What I found interesting was that his decision wasnt driven by the technology he would work with, or the investors, or the space, or the CEO (well, maybe a bit), but because he had “failed” over the previous few years, and wanted stability and what he felt was a greater chance at success.

He had experienced enough “failure” that it shifted his mindset. He made a decision based partly on a desire to avoid failure rather than embrace it.

Interesting.

In thinking about failure, Ive often counseled that failure is just a point on the path to success. That once you accept failure as an eventuality or that you are “doomed” to failure, it becomes a loss. And given our instinctual desire to avoid losing, we allow it to begin to drive our decision making. We begin to make decisions based on avoiding losing rather than finding success.

But isnt that good?

I dont know. I am currently driving on a canceled license. I have failed to pay for a speeding ticket (I am taking care of it this week!), and when I drive it completely changes how I drive. I am intensely aware of the speed limit. I am on constant lookout for police. I keep thinking to myself, “dont get into an accident, because it would be really, really bad, and you cant run a company from jail.” My entire decision making process has shifted, and the amount of risks I take has dissipated. I drive like my grandma now. Which is probably a good thing…

So whats right?

No idea. I think a bit of fear of failure is a good thing. It helps us drive towards success. I cant think of anything but building the biggest company I can. VCs that passed because they thought my company was not going to be big enough? Ill show you. People that didnt join the company because they felt that success was a hard thing. You will be kicking yourselves one day. The fear of failing continues to live in the back of my mind; but the requirement of success is the pain behind my eyeballs that keeps me driving forward.

Can there be too much failure?

I think so. I think there is a point when a person has been beaten around a bit that they just need to chose the safe route for a bit. Pick a path that allows them to relearn how big a badass they are. To regain their shaken belief in themselves. To realize that failure, even a lot of failure, is just part of the process. Too much failure, followed by the opportunity to take a deep breath and continue pushing towards success is ok. Too much failure and the acceptance that you are a failure is just losing. And thats an end.

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