Comments on: Portions For Foxes

By: Web Design

Web Design — Thu, 12 Feb 2009 19:03:45 +0000

I was very conscious unless I got my first tattoo on upper arm, but once I had it , I felt as if I'm going to be playing lead role in next Hollywood block buster. I even find it interesting when people ask me about the details.

By: Web Design

Web Design — Thu, 12 Feb 2009 11:03:45 +0000

By: Parallel Import Cars

Parallel Import Cars — Sun, 14 Dec 2008 04:32:02 +0000

Hi Micah,

I understand your concern about privacy. I have friends who tattoo but weirdly, they enjoy people asking them the meaning of the Tattoos. At times they feel really proud of it. I've ever asked them. Don't you get sick and tired of people asking you the meaning of those tattoos, they just replied. I enjoyed it. If I don't want people to ask me, then I should probably tattoo them on my butt so nobody get's to see it.

When the visual stops, the question stops too.

By: Melissa

Melissa — Thu, 13 Nov 2008 02:03:54 +0000

Thank you for the etiquette lesson. I didn't know that if someone has a tattoo displayed openly I am not supposed to ask about it. I have probably done this, thinking I was just showing interest in the person and making conversation. I'll do better from now on.

I also wanted to thank you, Micah, for being the friend that women can talk to. It sounds like they were doing a little too much of that. But really, we appreciate that. You're a valuable asset, we need nice guys to remind us that they exist. But I agree you should not have been taken advantage of.

By: micah

micah — Mon, 01 Sep 2008 17:29:15 +0000

Thanks. Openness is one of the two rules I really live by. Thanks
again for the nice comment.

By: miamism

miamism — Mon, 01 Sep 2008 16:27:40 +0000

Just found your blog through Mark Davidson on Twitter – I commend you for your openness – definitely refreshing to read a blog post that goes in depth.

By: micah

micah — Mon, 01 Sep 2008 15:38:29 +0000

Im a little disappointed that the comments have centered around “tattoo etiquette” (never tats – bleh), which 1) doesnt exist; and 2) basically are just common sense and respect for persona space. What this post is about is the reality that people take kindness and assume a nefarious intent. That people see kindness as something that is used as a manipulation and always has strings attached.

I guess the lack of discussion around that concept means that folks either agree with the premise, or 2) are embarrassed in its truth. Fuck the tattoos, they are unimportant.

By: lksugarman

lksugarman — Mon, 01 Sep 2008 14:38:09 +0000

I am one of those guilty of asking what that text translated to, although I didn't touch. I don't like being touched by random people either. I really hate being poked by people who use that to emphasize their conversations! But, like many, I thought that if the tattoo's out there, it's okay to ask and that the “public” display was to invite conversation. Otherwise, I thought it would be somewhere normally clothed. So, my apology for my gaff in tatt etiquette, but I just didn't know or realize that this is an invasion of personal space, like being physically touched.

Quite different from the guy who insisted, “I have your name on my penis” and wanted to bet $50. And, in fact, showed me, in a bar in Nashvile next to the original Grand Ol' Opry that he *did* have “Your Name” tattoed on his penis with “Happy Birthday” on the other side!

By: micah

micah — Mon, 01 Sep 2008 01:56:30 +0000

Very true. But it happens more than you would imagine. Or the constant
staring. Bleh.

By: andrew_feinberg

andrew_feinberg — Mon, 01 Sep 2008 01:47:06 +0000

Grabbing your arm is just a bad idea in general ;-)

By: micah

micah — Mon, 01 Sep 2008 01:35:15 +0000

Andrew, I quite agree. The piece missing is the simple request of "do
you mind if I ask you about your tattoos?"

Sometimes I am not in the mood or busy, or perhaps the tattoo is too
personal.

Asking first implies respect. Grabbing my arm or requesting a
translation immediately shows a serious lack thereof.

By: andrew_feinberg

andrew_feinberg — Mon, 01 Sep 2008 00:47:15 +0000

I asked when I first met you because it was so unusual, unique, and my hebrew is awful so I couldn't read it myself.

People ask because when so visible and unique, tattoos are often seen as a public statement. A name is easily understood. Symbols are...simple. I see a co-worker with the Black Flag bars and I know he's into 80's hardcore.

But a gigantic tattoo in a foreign language on one's forearm is a statement, and I would take each opportunity to explain as an opportunity to do what you just did, and teach someone something knew.

By: Stu Andrews

Stu Andrews — Sun, 31 Aug 2008 23:49:57 +0000

Micah,

Very excellent post.

I hope that some of the relationships thrown to the might of the sword may have been reborn, as the other person got their act together.

By: MadKata

MadKata — Sun, 31 Aug 2008 22:18:26 +0000

Thanks for this post about boundaries… and the extent we need to serve ourselves as well as do service for others and learn not to be taken advantage of. (I can so relate!) “Portions for foxes” will never mean anything else again.

(And thanks for the heads up re: tattoo etiquette… I just thought if it was there to be read, it was all for public consumption — DUH — now I know. :)

By: micah

micah — Sun, 31 Aug 2008 00:29:08 +0000

I have never understood why people feel like they can ask, grab,
touch, etc. Just because I have tattoos. Most of them are lucky I
don't punch them.