After eating a huge meal (which, of course immediately following I thought to myself “son of a bitch! My weight gets tweeted out every Saturday! I must be a moron!”) I got an email from some I have really grown to respect, and am glad to call friend. (This is after dozens of emails from people I could care less about. Im not mentioning *cough, cough* Josh Flanagan *cough, cough* any names, but trust me, know dont know who you are *cough, cough* Jeffrey Kalmikoff *cough, cough*.) And, yes, Josh and Jeffrey, I know what you are thinking. That you havent emailed me in months.
Well, Josh and Jeffrey, lets me just say, yes, that is true, but I often like to mention your name in between bouts of coughing in totally non sequitur sentences, which are, for all intents and purposes, grammatically incorrect.
And, yes, I am all hopped up on Diet Coke and acting a little bit crazy. Or is it a little bit rock and roll?
Which, brings us back to Ron Richards. Who sent me the email that I read while completely engorged on food, and ruing weight in day.
Ron sent me a link to this video of Jay Adelson, who is one of Ron’s friends and mentors, giving a talk in (Im assuming Detroit because of the Henry Ford reference) entitled “We Need Crazy.” Here watch it:
Of course, if its a bit long, or something you arent really into, there is always this video:
And, while yes, I really just wanted to write a post where the embedding of a video of boobies and kittens made a bit of sense, whats really important is the question that Ron asked.
“What is our crazy?”
You see, Ron, as one of the founders of iFanboy works with me at Graphic.ly. Lately, we have had a lot of discussion about the comic industry, how digital comics fit in the comic industry and what is the best course of action for the company.
“What is our crazy?”
I mean, what kind of question is that to ask me? I mean, ask me “Who is our crazy?” And thats easy. Its Charley. But, “what is our crazy?”
After promising myself to stay away from the computer tonight after 38 hours of work in the past 48 and just read a book, I get this email? Ive been reading James Patterson‘s series Maximum Ride over the past several years. A few more have been published, and I really want to read them. But, dammit Ron, “What is our crazy?” Thanks for screwing up my night. I blame *cough, cough* Josh. Wouldnt you? *cough, cough*
Ron, our crazy is this: We believe that the world is better when connected. That comics do not start and end with the opening and closing of the book. That stories are not owned. That people have an innate desire to learn and share. That the comic book industry, for all its foibles, has the ability to truly make people love what we all love (as kids and now) – Stories. Sharing. Learning. Creativity.
And we will build something that will make that a reality.
Whats our crazy Ron? Its the fact that I get so excited thinking about how to interject wonder back into people’s lives through the art and story telling of comics, that I have held in my desire to pee for the last 45 minutes writing this post.
Gotta go, you are making me crazy.
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I just finished reading the book Grumby which Brad has mentioned reading while in Homer. Its a decent book, fast read, humorous. It covers the rise and fall of an entrepreneur in a really smart kinda way.
There is a section in the book, where the lead character is meeting with his lawyer, and they are discussing corporate structure. To that point, every time he got someone to help him build the product, he gave the person 10,000 shares. He let his first employee / co-founder take 10,000 option slugs almost at will.
Once they run the numbers, he has given away most of his company to his co-founder and the various pseudo-employees that have been helping on the product. All in all, he had granted 1.4 million shares.
“If you only have 2 million shares, then they own the majority of the company.”
“Oh, I didnt realize,” he tells his lawyer.
This is not an uncommon thing among young entrepreneurs. Its just stock. Its just paper. You want everyone to have equity and feel excited about the company and its future. Whats 25,000 or 100,000 shares? Right now nothing. Just numbers on an excel spreadsheet.
Then later financings come. Or acquisition offers. Or any of a hundred different ways for the founders to exit positively. And when the cap table is reviewed, all of a sudden all those option you gave out like candy are staring you in the face.
“I gave Billie 200,000 shares? Jane has 100,000 and she isnt even with the company any more!” Suddenly, bad feelings begin to grow. You resent the people who you gave large share allotments to. You kick yourself for making bad decisions. After all, it was just paper.
Its important as a entrepreneur to understand what stock options are. Similarly to financing. In both cases, you are using YOUR COMPANY as leverage to either get money or get work. The more you sell/give away, the less there is at the end, or to give later stage employees.
My dad used to tell me all the time, “You can always go up; you can never go down.” He wasnt being supportive of my dreams, but rather being observational about the negotiation process. Its a simple thing: you cant take back stock options.
Early on, dont talk in percentages. Over the life of the company, and the financings taken, the percentage that people own (including the founder) shifts. Talk in raw numbers. Let people understand what 10,000 or 1,000,000 share mean. Explain outstanding shares, dilution, etc. Don’t hide what their options are worth today, or what they may be worth in the future. But start small.
Let the option grant grow with the person, as the company, and they themselves grow.
Being fair isnt about providing someone more than they are worth. Being fair is providing someone the ability to prove their worth and be rewarded for it.
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I wrote the post, Its Just a Little Bit of Cocaine. It Never Hurt Nobody, in December of 2007. I had been sober about a year and a half (Ok, a year, eight months and 10 days – Its now been 4 years, 3 months and 7 days), and I was starting to open up a bit about my addiction. It was the first really “open” post I wrote having started to blog in May of 2007, and the response was wonderful.
Over the last couple of years, I have continued to be open in my writing and my presentations, but have slowed down a bit in the last year or so. I feel like I have said everything that I need to say, and my ability to stop doing something so destructive no longer defined me. What defined me was who I am as a person, and the effort I undertake to do good.
But every once in awhile something happens or someone does something that makes me think “You just dont get it.” Strangely enough, this time it was Lindsay Lohan, and her behavior in court.
Not sure if you saw the photo of her fingernail polish, but here you go:
Yup, thats a big F-U to the judge. Smart move? Nope. But indicative of a common characteristic of some who is battling addiction.
You believe you are invincible.
You could see it in her total surprise at the sentence. You can watch it in her behavior while wearing the SCRAM bracelet. She thought she was invincible. She is not alone in that feeling, its what we all feel.
(Please note, I am not condoning any of her actions. Those are for her to own and deal with.)
When you are an addict, you have a small group of friends. They are almost all addicts as well. You share a secret. You believe that they will all be there for you regardless. You believe that with the power of your friends, you are invincible.
You do stupid things like drive. Or go to court loaded. Or get an MRI while cracked out.
Yes. Thats my brain on drugs.
I thought that the invincibility I felt while in the midst of my party days would subside once I realized how big an idiot I had been (and, while you might not believe that an addict has to hit rock bottom, and want to get sober, its so very true. Jail doesnt do it automatically. Nor does public humiliation. Its different for everyone, I hope for Lindsay’s sake, this is her bottom), but that feel never goes away.
It must be one of the characteristics of an addictive personality, that feeling of invincibility. Of knowing that regardless of the circumstance, the stupid choice (its not like I never knew I was doing dumb things), or the pain I caused others, it would be okay.
Even now, as an entrepreneur, I see this believe of invincibility sneak back in. And, its not just me. I see it in all entrepreneurs, whether they are successful or not. The belief that regardless of the challenges set before them, that they can single-handedly overcome them. (Part of being invincible is being able to handle everything.)
It surfaces in weird places. I read Brad’s post today about Giving More Than You Get, and thought about this issue of invincibility. You can even be invincible from time sucks. You can do it all, you are invincible after all.
Same for feelings. Say what you want about me. Im invincible. Your barbs and bullshit dont bother me. I can deal with anything that you throw at me.
Every day, I deal with the fact that I believe in myself more greatly that I believe in anyone else. Its my greatest fault. No one has ever been singularly successful. No one. Each day, I remind myself that I am not invincible. Each day, I reflect on the things that I havent done well, or right, or failed on, because it reminds me that I cant do everything. I am not invincible after all.
I really dont know where I am going with this post. I just felt that I needed to write about the downside of invincibility. We will all look at Lindsay and other celebrities and other people of note and rail against the special attention they are getting, or their ability to skip out on their responsibilities. I imagine there will be a fair number of comments about how she is a horrible person, and that I am way off base. Thats fine, people feel what they feel.
But, there is a real downside to being Superman. To being invincible. And, unfortunately for Lindsay Lohan, thats includes jail. I hope she, and anyone else caught in the throws of addiction, realizes the beauty of vulnerability, and makes the necessary changes.
(BTW, if you are in a place where you feel you cant get out, give me a call – 720-248-8499 or find a friend. I am happy to listen, and help you realize the decision you want to make.)
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